Joke Crazy

Daddy, how was I born?

A little boy goes to his father and asks "Daddy, how was I born?"

The father answers: "Well son, I guess one day you will need to find out anyway!

Your Mom and I first got together in a chat room on Yahoo.

George Bush goes to a Primary School

George Bush goes to a primary school to talk to the kids to get a little PR. After his talk he offers question time. One little boy puts up his hand and George asks him his name.

"Stanley," responds the little boy.

"And what is your question, Stanley?"

Just Trying To Order Chinese

After placing an order for Chinese food a patron askes the chineese waitress, "How much?" she said, "That will be six-fifty." The patron then asks, "How long?" She then replied, "Oh, he not here, he out sick today!"

Texas Chili Contest

Frank: "Recently, I was honored to be selected as a judge at a chili cooking contest. The original person called in sick at the last moment and I happened to be standing there at the judge's table asking for directions to the Coors Light truck, when the call came in. I was assured by the other two judges (native Texans) that the chili wouldn't be all that spicy and, besides, they told me I could have free beer during the tasting, so I accepted." Here are the scorecards from the advent:

Statue Fantasy

An old wizard was walking through a park when he came upon two statues. One statue was male and the other was female. They were positioned on opposite ends of the park, facing each other with their arms extended out as if to embrace. The wizard stood there for a long time examining their sad facial expressions until he got an idea.

The honeymoon is over

A young couple got married and left on their honeymoon.

When they got back, the bride immediately called her mother.

"Well, how was the honeymoon?" asked the mother.

"Oh mamma!" she exclaimed. "The honeymoon was wonderful! So romantic!"

Yo mama is so stupid

Your Mom is so stupid she got stabbed in a shoot out.

Penal Kick

Mike meets John at a bar. "Hey John!" he yells. John greets him back and says, " Hey you know that girl at work? the one that damn near everytime I see her i get hard?" "Yeah the fine thick one, what about her?" says Mike. "I got a date with her." "REALLY!" Mike replies in excitement. "Yeah It was earlier on today " John says. "Well, what happened?" "Well, before I left the house I taped my tool to my leg so i wouldn't get hard and I headed 2 her house and so when I get there she comes out in this short skirt with some pumps and ALL of her cleavage showing and... "Yeah and what" Mike says. " I kicked her in the face."

The Environmentalist and the Executive

One day an executive from a large corporation paid a visit to a fanatical environmentalist who lived in a nearby forest. The executive wanted the approval of the environmentalist for a new product his company was creating, and he took it upon himself to make the visit in person. He even made a bet with his fellow executives that he would come back with the deal.

Black Magic

An old man and woman were married for years even though they hated each other. When they had a fight, screams and yelling could be heard deep into the night.

A constant statement was heard by the neighbors who feared the man the most... "When I die I will dig my way up and out of the grave to come back and haunt you for the rest of your life!"