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This lady surprised a burglar in her kitchen. He was all loaded down with the things he was going to steal. She had no
weapon and was all alone. The only thing that she could think to do was quote scripture. So, she holds up a hand and says: "ACTS 2:38!!!"
The burglar quakes in fear and then freezes to the point that she is able to get to the phone and call 911 for the cops.
When the cops arrive, the burglar is still frozen in place. They are very much surprised that a woman alone with no weapon could do this. One of them asked the lady:
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Posted by JokeCrazy on Sunday, June 22 @ 01:05:00 CDT (2892 reads)
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Tiggs writes "A US Navy cruiser pulled into port in Mississippi for a week's shore leave.
The first evening, the Captain was more than a little surprised to receive the following letter from the wife of a wealthy plantation owner:
"Dear Captain, Thursday will be my daughter Melinda's, coming of age party. I would like you to send four well mannered, handsome, unmarried officers. They should arrive at 8:00 p.m. prepared for an evening of polite southern conversation and dance with lovely young ladies. One last point: No, Mexican's. We don't like Mexican's.""
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"Doc," says Steve, "I want to be castrated."
"What on earth for?" asks the doctor in amazement.
"It's something I've been thinking about for a long time and I want to have it done" replies Steve.
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A customer walks into a restaurant and notices a large sign on the wall: $500 If we fail to fill your order!
When his waitress arrives, he orders elephant nuts on rye. She calmly writes down his order and walks into the kitchen where all hell breaks loose!
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Posted by JokeCrazy on Thursday, July 18 @ 00:58:33 CDT (1218 reads)
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Charlie and George were sitting in the park, talking, when the subject turned to getting older. Charlie said to George, "Women have all the luck when it comes to getting older."
"What do you mean?" asked George.
"Well," replied Charlie, "I can barely remember the last time I was able to get it up in bed, but my wife is healthier than ever!"
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One of Microsoft Network's finest support techs was drafted into the Army and
sent to boot camp.
At the rifle range, he was given some instructions, handed a rifle, and a couple
rounds of ammo. He loaded the rifle and fired several shots at the target which
was fifty yards away.
The report came from the target area that all of his attempts had completely
missed the target
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Posted by JokeCrazy on Tuesday, April 06 @ 13:10:00 CDT (20406 reads)
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"I must take every precaution not to get pregnant," said Edna to Priscilla.
"But I thought you said your hubby had a vasectomy," Priscilla responded.
"He did. That's why I have to take every precaution."
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It was Kaly's second anniversary, and her husband sent her flowers at the office. When he placed the order he told the
florist to write "Happy Anniversary, Year Number 2" on the card.
Kaly was delighted when the florist arrived, but her joy was heavily clouded by the note on the card. It read...
"Happy Anniversary. You're Number 2."
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President Calvin Coolidge, 30th U.S. president (1923 to 1929) was a man of very few words. One Sunday he went to church, but his wife, Grace, stayed home. When he returned, she asked,
"Was the sermon good?"
"Yup," was Coolidge's brief reply.
"What was it about?" Grace asked.
"Sin."
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Posted by JokeCrazy on Friday, October 10 @ 01:05:00 CDT (3946 reads)
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The Reverend Francis Norton woke up Sunday morning and realizing it was an exceptionally beautiful and sunny early spring day, decided he just had to play golf. So... he told the Associate Pastor that he was feeling sick and convinced him to say Mass for him that day.
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Posted by JokeCrazy on Tuesday, August 14 @ 19:26:27 CDT (978 reads)
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There isn't a Biggest Story for Today, yet. |
| Saturday, April 10 | | · | Football Fans vs. Nuns |
| Friday, April 09 | | · | Diver Meets Guy Underwater |
| Thursday, April 08 | | · | Oops! |
| Wednesday, April 07 | | · | Mr. or Mrs. Computer |
| Tuesday, April 06 | | · | Microsoft tech drafted |
| Monday, April 05 | | · | History of the Internet |
| Sunday, April 04 | | · | Octopus in the bar |
| Saturday, April 03 | | · | Baby Turtle |
| Friday, April 02 | | · | Sweet Tooth |
| Thursday, April 01 | | · | Defensive Driving |
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