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 Joke Books


Dogs and the Death Penalty
Animal Jokes Three dogs were sitting in the waiting room at the veterinarian's. One of the dogs was hanging its head and sighing.

The second dog turned to him and asked, "What are you in here for, buddy?"

The dog looked depressed. "I'm in big trouble," he said. "My owner has a really nice sports car with leather seats. I just love to go for rides in it. Well, the other day, he took me for a ride and I was so excited, I peed on the nice leather seat. Now he's having me put to sleep."
Posted by JokeCrazy on Monday, March 03 @ 00:05:00 CST (1989 reads)
(Read More... | 1310 bytes more | Score: 4.5)

Strange but True: Forget the clubs
Strange but True The other day I was playing golf and saw an unusual thing.

A golfer became so mad that he threw his brand new set of golf clubs into the lake.
Posted by JokeCrazy on Monday, April 23 @ 01:33:24 CDT (3204 reads)
(Read More... | 353 bytes more | Strange but True | Score: 0)

Mans Best Friend
Animal Jokes Everybody I know who has a dog usually calls him "Rover" or "Spot". I call mine Sex. Now, Sex has been very embarrassing to me. When I went to the City Hall to renew the dog's license, I told the clerk that I would like a license for Sex. He said, "I would like to have one too!" Then I said, "But she is a dog!" He said he didn't care what she looked like. I said, "You don't understand.... I have had Sex since I was nine years old." He replied, "You must have been quite a strong boy."

When I decided to get married, I told the minister that I would like to have Sex at the wedding. He told me to wait until after the wedding was over. I said, "But Sex has played a big part in my life and my whole world revolves around Sex." He said he didn't want to hear about my personal life and would not marry us in his
church. I told him everyone would enjoy having Sex at the wedding. The next day we were married at the Justice of the Peace. My family is barred from the church from then on.
Posted by JokeCrazy on Monday, January 20 @ 00:05:00 CST (2285 reads)
(Read More... | 2649 bytes more | Score: 2)

Back Yard Problems
People Jokes One night a lady stumbled into the police station with a black eye. She claimed she had heard a noise in her back yard, but when she went to investigate she was hit in the eye and knocked out cold.

An officer was sent to her house to investigate, and he returned a couple hours later with a swelling black eye.

"Did you get hit by the same person?" his captain asked.
Posted by JokeCrazy on Friday, January 09 @ 00:05:00 CST (24762 reads)
(Read More... | 442 bytes more | Score: 3)

Repair Order
People Jokes An auto mechanic received a repair order that read, "Check for clunking sound when going around corners."

Taking the car out for a test drive, he made a right turn, and a moment later he heard a clunk. He then made a left turn and again heard a clunk.

Back at the shop, he opened the car's trunk, and soon discovered the problem.
Posted by JokeCrazy on Friday, October 03 @ 01:05:00 CDT (2250 reads)
(Read More... | 489 bytes more | Score: 1)

Snail buys car
Animal Jokes There was once a snail that was sick and tired of his reputation for being so slow. He decided to get some fast wheels to make up the difference.

After shopping around a while, he decided that the Datson 240-Z was the car to get. So the snail goes to the nearest Datsun dealer and says he wants to buy the 240-Z, but he wants it repainted "240-S".
Posted by JokeCrazy on Wednesday, September 12 @ 01:30:14 CDT (3232 reads)
(Read More... | 899 bytes more | Score: 0)

Taking notes on Memorial Day
Animal Jokes I am a member of a group that reenacts the Civil War, serving in the artillery. As a mounted unit, we have several horses, and they always get a lot of attention from the public. On Memorial Day, a self-appointed animal-rights-type came over to our "Master of Horse" and started proclaiming, "Listen here! I was raised around horses, I know horses, and you are mistreating that one there! That horse is obviously pregnant, and should not be forced to pull loads."
Posted by JokeCrazy on Tuesday, April 17 @ 00:40:27 CDT (1735 reads)
(Read More... | 712 bytes more | Score: 0)

Adult - Adults Only!: Sperm Spectrum
Adult Jokes daburlman writes "What did one gay sperm say to another gay sperm? How we gonna find any eggs in all this shit?"
Posted by JokeCrazy on Tuesday, August 20 @ 02:50:34 CDT (2480 reads)
(Read More... | Adult - Adults Only! | Score: 5)

Cow Scambler
Animal Jokes lizzie writes "Why did the boy put his cow on the scrambler ?

Because he wanted a Milk shake!"
Posted by JokeCrazy on Sunday, October 05 @ 01:05:00 CDT (5112 reads)
(Read More... | Score: 0)

Adult - Adults Only!: Amish Innocence
Adult Jokes An Amish woman and her daughter were riding in an old buggy one cold blustery day.

The daughter said to her mother, "My hands are freezing cold."

The mother replied, "Put them between your legs. Your body heat will warm them up."

The daughter did, and her hands warmed up.
Posted by JokeCrazy on Wednesday, February 25 @ 00:05:00 CST (49865 reads)
(Read More... | 1329 bytes more | Adult - Adults Only! | Score: 4.5)

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What are your favorite type of Jokes?

Play on Words
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 Today's Big Joke
There isn't a Biggest Story for Today, yet.

 Past Jokes
Saturday, April 10
· Football Fans vs. Nuns
Friday, April 09
· Diver Meets Guy Underwater
Thursday, April 08
· Oops!
Wednesday, April 07
· Mr. or Mrs. Computer
Tuesday, April 06
· Microsoft tech drafted
Monday, April 05
· History of the Internet
Sunday, April 04
· Octopus in the bar
Saturday, April 03
· Baby Turtle
Friday, April 02
· Sweet Tooth
Thursday, April 01
· Defensive Driving

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