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 Joke Books


Las Vegas Vacation
Adult Jokes Three buddies decided to take their wives on vacation for a week in Las Vegas. The week flew by and they all had a great time. After they returned home and the men went back to work, they sat around at break and discussed their vacation.

The first guy says, "I don't think I'll ever do that again! Ever since we got back, my wife flings her arms and hollers, '7 come 11' all night and I haven't had a wink of sleep!"
Posted by JokeCrazy on Sunday, February 03 @ 23:43:58 CST (2350 reads)
(Read More... | 851 bytes more | Score: 0)

Effective Cough Remedy
Medical Jokes Craig, the clerk in the small drug store, wasn't much of a salesman. He could never find the item the customer wanted. Joe, the owner, had had enough of his clerk's incompetence and warned Craig that the next sale he missed would be his last.

Just then a man came in, coughing, and asked Craig to find a remedy. Try as he might, Craig simply couldn't find the cough syrup. Remembering Joe's warning, he sold the man a box of laxatives and told him to take it all at once. The customer did as Craig said and left. Joe witnessed the whole transaction and confronted Craig.
Posted by JokeCrazy on Wednesday, January 02 @ 00:13:01 CST (3068 reads)
(Read More... | 778 bytes more | Score: 2)

Ccompensated for a peg leg
All Other Jokes An aging pirate of the high seas was talking with a mate one day about his pending retirement. "You ought to be compensated for your peg leg, hook for a hand and the patch on your eye," said the mate. "You might want to check it out before retiring."
Posted by JokeCrazy on Tuesday, July 31 @ 00:05:39 CDT (1549 reads)
(Read More... | 1272 bytes more | Score: 0)

The Surgery
Medical Jokes Unregistered Guest writes "Five surgeons are discussing who makes the best patients to operate on.

The first surgeon says, "I like to see accountants on my operating table, because when you open them up, everything inside is numbered."

The second responds, "Yeah, but you should try electricians.
Everything inside them is color-coded.""
Posted by JokeCrazy on Thursday, March 27 @ 23:05:00 CST (2772 reads)
(Read More... | 904 bytes more | Score: 4)

Adult - Adults Only!: Shower Firmness Test
Adult Jokes A woman comes out of the shower one morning. Her husband sneaks up behind her, grabs a hold of her breasts, and says 'honey, if you firm these up a little bit you wouldn't have to wear a bra quite as much.'

She was furious and didn't speak to him for the rest of the week.

The next week, as she comes out of the shower, he sneaks up behind her again, grabs a hold of her buttocks, and says 'honey, if you firm these up a little bit, you wouldn't have to wear a girdle quite as much.
Posted by JokeCrazy on Tuesday, October 01 @ 00:05:00 CDT (2257 reads)
(Read More... | 762 bytes more | Adult - Adults Only! | Score: 3.25)

Pope Capper
Religion Jokes After getting all Pope John-Paul II's luggage loaded in the limo (and His Holiness doesn't travel light), the driver notices that the Pope is still standing on the curb. "Excuse me, Your Eminence." says the driver, "Would you please take your seat so we can leave?"

"Well, to tell you the truth," says the Pope, "They never let me drive at the Vatican, and I'd really like to drive today."

"I'm sorry but I cannot let you do that. I'd lose my job! And what if something should happen?" protests the driver, wishing he'd never gone to work that morning.
Posted by JokeCrazy on Friday, August 09 @ 02:04:31 CDT (1634 reads)
(Read More... | 1816 bytes more | Score: 4)

Medical Jokes A doctor was performing a complete physical, including the visual acuity test. He placed the patient twenty feet from
the chart and began.

"Cover your right eye with your hand," the doctor instructed the patient.

The patient read the 20/20 line perfectly.

"Now your left."
Posted by JokeCrazy on Thursday, December 25 @ 23:05:00 CST (10969 reads)
(Read More... | 613 bytes more | Score: 1)

Hair Solution
Animal Jokes My neighbour found out her dog could hardly hear so she took it to the veterinarian. He found the problem was hair in its ears and cleaned both ears and the dog could hear fine.

The vet told the lady if she wanted to keep this from recurring she should go to the store and get some "Nair" hair remover and rub in its ears once a month.

The lady goes to the drug store and gets some "Nair" hair remover. At the register the druggist tells her, "If you're going to use this under your arms don't use deodorant for a few days."
Posted by JokeCrazy on Sunday, September 07 @ 00:05:00 CDT (3324 reads)
(Read More... | 914 bytes more | Score: 1)

You Just Never Know
Religion Jokes John went on a vacation to the Middle East with most of his family, including his mother-in-law. During their vacation and while they were visiting Jerusalem, John's mother-in-law died.

With death certificate in hand, John went to the American Consulate to make arrangements to send the body back to the States for proper burial.

The Consul, after hearing of the death of the mother-in-law, told John that sending a body back to the States for burial is very, very expensive. It could cost as much as $5,000 he told John, and in most cases the persons responsible for the remains of their loved ones decide to bury the body in Israel, which would only cost $150.
Posted by JokeCrazy on Wednesday, April 16 @ 00:05:00 CDT (2605 reads)
(Read More... | 1176 bytes more | Score: 2.5)

Frog Loan
Animal Jokes Tiggs writes "A frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller, whose name is
Patricia Whack.

'Ms. Whack,' he says, 'I'd like to obtain a loan to buy a boat.'

Patti furrows her brow and asks, 'Well, how much do you want to borrow?'"
Posted by JokeCrazy on Saturday, March 01 @ 23:05:00 CST (4334 reads)
(Read More... | 1265 bytes more | Score: 3.8)

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 Today's Big Joke
There isn't a Biggest Story for Today, yet.

 Past Jokes
Saturday, April 10
· Football Fans vs. Nuns
Friday, April 09
· Diver Meets Guy Underwater
Thursday, April 08
· Oops!
Wednesday, April 07
· Mr. or Mrs. Computer
Tuesday, April 06
· Microsoft tech drafted
Monday, April 05
· History of the Internet
Sunday, April 04
· Octopus in the bar
Saturday, April 03
· Baby Turtle
Friday, April 02
· Sweet Tooth
Thursday, April 01
· Defensive Driving

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