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Play On Words
[ Play On Words ]

·Same Thing
·A Little Longer
·There's No Place like Nome
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 Joke Books


Holy Squirrels
Religion Jokes A pastor was giving the children's message during church. For this part of the service, he would gather all the
children around him and give a brief lesson before dismissing them for children's church.

On this particular Sunday, he was using squirrels for an object lesson on industry and preparation. He started out by saying, "I'm going to describe something, and I want you to raise your hand when you know what it is." The children nodded eagerly.

"This thing lives in trees (pause) and eats nuts (pause)..." No hands went up. "And it is gray (pause) and has a long bushy tail (pause)..." The children were looking at each other, but still no hands raised. "And it jumps from branch to branch (pause) and chatters and flips its tail when it's excited (pause)..."
Posted by JokeCrazy on Friday, December 26 @ 23:05:00 CST (12623 reads)
(Read More... | 1009 bytes more | Score: 4)

Question Time
Teacher/Student 1. What is 5 divided by 1/2 plus 3?

2. I have two coins making 55 cents but one is not a nickel. How can that be?

3. Why are 1977 dollars worth more than 1976 dollars?

4. What word in the English language does nearly everyone pronounce incorrectly?

5. In the United States, is it legal for a man to marry his widow's sister?

6. How much dirt is there in a hole that measures two feet by three feet by four feet?

7. Some months have 30 days, some months have 31 days; how many have 28?

8. Which is correct: eight and eight IS fifteen or eight and eight ARE fifteen?

9. A 10 foot rope ladder hangs over the side of a boat with the bottom rung at the surface of the water. There is one foot between rungs and the tide goes up at the rate of 6 inches per hour. How long until three rungs are covered?

10. Mr. and Mrs. Smith have six daughters and each daughter has one brother. How many people are in the family?
Posted by JokeCrazy on Wednesday, October 01 @ 00:05:00 CDT (13225 reads)
(Read More... | 1746 bytes more | Score: 4.5)

Poached or Scrambled
People Jokes John and Judi married. John thought this would be a "marriage of the 90's" -- equal roles for equal partners. So, the first morning back from their honeymoon, he brings Judi breakfast in bed.

Judi wasn't impressed wit his culinary skills, however. She looked disdainfully at the tray, and snorted, "Poached? I wanted *scrambled!"

Undaunted, the next morning, John brings his true love a *scrambled* egg.
Posted by JokeCrazy on Saturday, August 23 @ 00:05:00 CDT (2338 reads)
(Read More... | 777 bytes more | Score: 0)

Viagra and back again
All Other Jokes Crazy Mike the Biker walks into a pharmacy and says to the pharmacist, "Listen, I have three girls coming over tonight. I've never had three girls at once, and I need something to keep me horny...keep me potent."

The pharmacist reaches under the counter, unlocks the bottom drawer and takes out a small cardboard box marked with a label, "Viagra Extra Strength," and says, "Here, if you take this, you'll go NUTS for 12 hours!"
Posted by JokeCrazy on Sunday, October 14 @ 01:25:24 CDT (1368 reads)
(Read More... | 996 bytes more | Score: 0)

People Jokes Tiggs writes "A young man saw an elderly couple sitting down to lunch at McDonald's. He noticed that they had ordered one meal, and an extra drink cup. As he watched, the older gentleman carefully divided the hamburger in half, then counted out the fries, one for him, one for her, until each had half of them.

Then the old man poured half of the soft drink into the extra cup and set that in front of his wife. The old man then began to eat, and his wife sat watching, with her hands folded in her lap."
Posted by JokeCrazy on Saturday, February 22 @ 23:05:00 CST (2315 reads)
(Read More... | 979 bytes more | Score: 1)

The Fishing Groom
Gross Jokes A man and his newlywed check into a mountain resort by a lake. The desk clerk notices the "Just Married" sign still on the car. As soon as the man gets the luggage out of the car, he hops in a boat to go fishing.
Posted by JokeCrazy on Saturday, May 19 @ 09:30:15 CDT (3532 reads)
(Read More... | 999 bytes more | Score: 4)

Charity Case
People Jokes A big, burly man visited the pastor's home and asked to see the minister's wife, a woman well known for her charitable impulses.

"Madam," he said in a broken voice, "I wish to draw your attention to the terrible plight of a poor family in this district. The father is dead, the mother is too ill to work, and the nine children are starving. They are about to be turned into the cold, empty streets unless someone pays their rent, which amounts to $400."
Posted by JokeCrazy on Wednesday, February 13 @ 02:04:35 CST (1661 reads)
(Read More... | 655 bytes more | Score: 0)

Pizza of a third kind
Play On Words An American businessman goes to Japan on a business trip, but he hates Japanese food, so he asks the concierge at his hotel if there's any place to get American food.
Posted by JokeCrazy on Tuesday, July 10 @ 10:50:32 CDT (1968 reads)
(Read More... | 710 bytes more | Score: 2)

Bad Tempered Parrot
Animal Jokes Have you heard about the man who owns a parrot that swears like a sailor? This parrot was so terrible, it could swear for five minutes straight without repeating itself. One day the man finally gets tired of this parrot's horrible speech, and decides to do something about it.

He grabs the parrot by the throat, shakes it really hard, and yells, "QUIT IT!" every time the parrot says something ungodly. But this just makes the parrot mad, and it swears more than ever.

Next the man tried locking the bird in a kitchen cabinet. This really aggravated the parrot, and it clawed and scratched furiously until the man finally let him out(upon which the bird released it's fury in a torrent of language so horrible it could never be repeated).
Posted by JokeCrazy on Wednesday, December 17 @ 23:05:00 CST (12025 reads)
(Read More... | 1585 bytes more | Score: 4.8)

United for a Common Cause
News/Politics The President has asked that we, the people of America, unite for a common cause.

The hard line Islamic people can not stand nudity and consider it a sin to see a nude woman that is not their wife.

Therefore, tonight at 7:00, all women should run out of their houses with no clothes on to help weed out the terrorists.
Posted by JokeCrazy on Friday, April 11 @ 00:05:00 CDT (11040 reads)
(Read More... | 446 bytes more | Score: 2)

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What are your favorite type of Jokes?

Play on Words
Teacher / Student


Votes: 3747
Comments: 9

 Today's Big Joke
There isn't a Biggest Story for Today, yet.

 Past Jokes
Saturday, April 10
· Football Fans vs. Nuns
Friday, April 09
· Diver Meets Guy Underwater
Thursday, April 08
· Oops!
Wednesday, April 07
· Mr. or Mrs. Computer
Tuesday, April 06
· Microsoft tech drafted
Monday, April 05
· History of the Internet
Sunday, April 04
· Octopus in the bar
Saturday, April 03
· Baby Turtle
Friday, April 02
· Sweet Tooth
Thursday, April 01
· Defensive Driving

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