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The Cat Flap
Strange but True "In retrospect, I admit it was unwise to try to gain access to my house via the cat flap," Gunther Burpus admitted to reporters in Bremen, Germany. "I suppose that the reason they're called cat flaps, rather than human flaps, is because they're too small for people, and perhaps I should have realized that."
Posted by JokeCrazy on Friday, October 19 @ 00:06:46 CDT (13034 reads)
(Read More... | 1626 bytes more | Score: 5)

Constipated Matrimony
Bar/Drunk Jokes Two drunks were sitting in a bar when one of them notices a beautiful woman sitting in the corner. One says to the other,
"Jeez, I'd really like to dance with that girl."

The other man replies, "Well go ahead and ask her, don't be a chicken shit."

So the man approaches the lovely woman and says, "Excuse me. Would you be so kind as to dance with me?"
Posted by JokeCrazy on Friday, April 05 @ 13:15:58 CST (4893 reads)
(Read More... | 769 bytes more | Score: 2.5)

The Tougher Years
People Jokes My grandfather worked in a blacksmith shop when he was a boy, and he used to tell me, when I was a little boy myself, how he had toughened himself up so he could stand the rigors of blacksmithing.

One story was how he had developed his arm and shoulder muscles. He said he would stand outside behind the house and, with a 5 pound potato sack in each hand, extend his arms straight out to his sides and hold them there as long as he could.
Posted by JokeCrazy on Wednesday, June 04 @ 00:05:00 CDT (1380 reads)
(Read More... | 728 bytes more | Score: 0)

How to give a cat medication
Animal Jokes 1) Pick cat up and cradle it in the crook of your left arm as if holding a baby. Position right forefinger and thumb on either side of cat's mouth and gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill in right hand. As cat opens mouth, pop pill into mouth. Allow cat to close mouth and swallow.
Posted by JokeCrazy on Thursday, April 26 @ 00:08:05 CDT (2241 reads)
(Read More... | 3027 bytes more | Score: 5)

1 drink, 2 drinks, 3 drinks, floor?
Bar/Drunk Jokes One night in a local pub, a man stumbled up to the only other patron in a bar and asked if he could buy him a drink.

"Why of course," came the reply.

The first man then asked, "Where are you from?"

"I'm from Ireland," replied the second man.
Posted by JokeCrazy on Saturday, October 20 @ 00:23:00 CDT (2012 reads)
(Read More... | 1341 bytes more | Score: 0)

Happy New Year to All and to All a Good Diet!
Holiday Jokes Twas the month after Christmas, and all through the house. Nothing would fit me, not even a blouse.

The cookies I'd nibbled, the eggnog I would taste. At the holiday parties had gone to my waist.

When I got on the scales there arose such a number! When I walked to the store it was less a walk than a lumber.
Posted by JokeCrazy on Tuesday, December 31 @ 23:05:00 CST (17033 reads)
(Read More... | 1383 bytes more | Score: 2.8)

Little Johhny in First Grade concert
Teacher/Student The First Grade concert is fast approaching and Johnny has still not decided what he will do. Little Mary is going to do a piano solo, Timmy will recite a poem, but Johnny can't come up with anything. Finally, his frustrated teacher is relieved when he tells her he has worked out his act.
Posted by JokeCrazy on Sunday, August 12 @ 01:28:17 CDT (1558 reads)
(Read More... | 963 bytes more | Score: 4.5)

The Joy of Windows
Computers/Support Bill Gates approached a customer and said, "Excuse me. If I made a version of Windows which only crashed once a year, would you buy it?"

The customer's eyes glistened: "Oh, would I!"
Posted by JokeCrazy on Thursday, September 13 @ 02:26:43 CDT (5794 reads)
(Read More... | 525 bytes more | Score: 0)

The Other Side of the Sheets
Adult Jokes A man returning home a day early from a business trip, got into a taxi at the airport after midnight, and while en route to his home, asked the driver if he would be a witness, as he suspected his wife was having an affair, and expected to catch her in the act.

The driver agreed, and they both tiptoed into the bedroom, turned on the lights pulled the blanket back and found the wife in bed with another man.
Posted by JokeCrazy on Monday, January 06 @ 23:05:00 CST (2723 reads)
(Read More... | 849 bytes more | Score: 3.8)

Birth rate Budget
People Jokes A little town had a high birth rate that had attracted the attention of the sociologists at the state university.

They wrote a grant proposal; got a huge chunk of money; hired a few additional sociologists, an anthropologist, and a family planning and birth control specialist; moved to town; rented offices; set up their computers; got squared away; and began designing their questionnaires and such.
Posted by JokeCrazy on Monday, April 15 @ 20:20:36 CDT (1418 reads)
(Read More... | 1000 bytes more | Score: 0)

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Saturday, April 10
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