Posted on Sunday, April 15 @ 18:52:10 CDT by JokeCrazy
16. Carpools with Divine Brown.
15. Motel 6 names him "Customer of the Year."
14. Mysterious phone calls in the middle of the night from some
guy named "President Bill."
13. You intercept a love note signed by all of the Oakland Raiders.
12. That naked guy standing in the corner pretending to be a hat
rack isn't fooling anyone.
11. Starts buying those lame excuses you give when you get home
late from your mistress's house.
10. Glenn Close speeds by your house every twenty minutes.
9. Models new lingerie, saying, "If you were my lover, would this
turn you on?"
8. The smell of Brut is all over her, and you're strictly an
Old Spice man.
7. asks you how you would feel about appearing on
6. Every night: comes home late, carves another notch in the
bedpost and giggles himself to sleep.
5. The cat has that "I know something that you don't know" look.
4. Michael Irvin called her as a character witness.
3. Closet full of Gideon Bibles.
2. Raoul the pool-boy is always hanging around, and you have
1. Amy Fisher shoots you in the head.
Average Score: 1