Joke Crazy - The Environmentalist and the Executive

kenwells writes "One day an executive from a large corporation paid a visit to a fanatical environmentalist who lived in a nearby forest. The executive wanted the approval of the environmentalist for a new product his company was creating, and he took it upon himself to make the visit in person. He even made a bet with his fellow executives that he would come back with the deal.

The executive drove to the forest and stopped his car just outside a grove of trees. He knew that the environmentalist lived in a tent, and soon found him: a young man with tangled hair, a scraggly beard, wearing an old robe that hung down to his knees. He was barefoot, and stared at the executive with disgust after finding out the reason for the visit.

He looks at the executive’s expensive tailored pinstriped Armani business suit, his polished Gucci shoes, his briefcase, his silk tie and carefully combed hair and shook his head.

"I guess you don’t understand me very well" he said. "It is my policy NEVER to harm a living this! NEVER! And you come here dressed like that!"

The executive said (smiling nervously) "I…I don’t understand…"

The environmentalist pointed at the executive’s polished shoes. "Just look at those fancy shoes with the little tassels on ‘em! Don’t you understand that a COW gave its life so you could wear those shoes? Is it more important for you to wear nice shoes than for a cow to LIVE?!"

" I…I think I know what you mean, but what can I do? I have a very important job. I have to dress well. It’s part of my image, my dignity; I can’t just…" said the executive.

The environmentalist snapped: "Take them off! Take them off and throw them away or I won’t talk to you!" The environmentalist continued: "Do you know how many silkworms are forced into slavery to produce silk? DO YOU? Those fancy socks look like silk to me. Are they?

The executive said: "Yes, but…I can’t take off my…"

"It looks like you’ll be doing this interview barefoot! It will be good for a big shot like you!"
The executive's mouth dropped open in shock. "Take off my shoes and socks! But these are Gucci loafers! They cost eight hundred! I just had them polished!"

The executive begged and pleaded, but finally realized that the environmentalist would not budge, so with a sigh, the well-dressed executive stepped out of his Gucci shoes and reluctantly pulled off his socks, which he had just had polished for that meeting. He picked them up and the environmentalist held out a paper bag.

The environmentalist kept haranguing him: "Look at these shoes! To think a cow used to walk around wearing these! You’ll be a lot closer to the average person without these shoes, anyway. And those socks! Drop them in!"

The executive swallowed hard and let go of his shoes and socks.

The environmentalist continued: "And what about your briefcase? And your belt? And your wallet?! Hand ‘em over! They’re all leather!"

The executive was stunned, but stripped off and handed over his briefcase, wallet and belt.

He stands stunned, barefoot in his Armani suit and tie. He realizes the environmentalist is winning the argument, but doesn’t know how to stop the transformation.

"And that necktie is silk…and the pocket handkerchief."

In a moment, the tie and the handkerchief are in a heap.

The executive said: "STOP! You've stripped me of everything but my suit! Now, let’s get to business…"

The environmentalist snapped "It is a terrible thing to force sheep to give up their warm coats just so YOU can strut around in a nice, navy blue, expensive suit!"

"But this is a two thousand dollar Armani suit! I had it made for me! NOW WAIT A MINUTE. WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO RELPACE MY SUIT WITH!?"

The environmentalist grinned:
There’s no need to get upset. I have a fine pair of polyester pants for you. Now lose the suit, and everything else you’re wearing is cotton. You cannot expect me to make a deal with a man who wears the product of a COTTON plant!"

The environmentalist hands the executive a pair of polyester pants and a polyester shirt and in a few minutes he is holding the Armani suit and everything else in his hands. There is now nothing left of the impeccably dressed executive, who now looks like he belongs on the street asking for change, not sitting in an office.

He is so stunned by his own transformation that he doesn’t realize that the environmentalist has piled the expensive business clothes together and disappears with them. For an hour, the executive searches, but cannot find the environmentalist.

The executive finally has had enough and leaves in anger. But as he walks away….he suddenly thinks: “He’s right! I shouldn’t abuse living things just so I can dress well! From now on, my life will be different!”

So the executive returns to the office and tells his stunned colleagues that he is quitting his job and will join the environmentalist in the forest where he will have his own tent.

He returns to the forest, but the tent is folded up. He finds a sign that says: “I’ve been wrong about everything. I have left to start a new life as an executive. Enjoy the tent. P.S. Thanks for the clothes.”
"

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