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Joke Crazy: Play On Words

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Just a Little
Play On Words A huge muscular man walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender hands him the beer and says, "You know, I'm not gay but I want to compliment you on your physique, it really is phenomenal! I have a question though, why is your head so small?"

The big guy nods slowly. He's obviously fielded this question many times. "One day," he begins, "I was hunting when I got lost in the woods. I heard someone crying for help and finally realized that it was coming from a frog sitting next to a stream. So I picked up the frog and it said, "Kiss me. Kiss me and I will turn into a genie and grant you 3 wishes." So I looked around to make sure I was alone and gave the frog a kiss.

POOF! The frog turned into a beautiful, voluptuous, naked woman.
Posted by JokeCrazy on Friday, September 05 @ 00:05:00 CDT (10723 reads)
(Read More... | 1499 bytes more | Score: 5)

Combining Corn
Play On Words A farmer was sitting at the table while his wife was preparing dinner. His wife dropped a spoon and bent over to pick it up. As she bent over the farmer said, "Honey, your butt is as big as a combine."

The wife picks up the spoon and continues cooking with no comment to her husband. As she put the dinner on the table she dropped the pepper shaker on the floor. While she was bent over picking it up the farmer said, "Honey I take that back. Your butt is as big as two combines!"
Posted by JokeCrazy on Sunday, September 29 @ 01:54:14 CDT (7397 reads)
(Read More... | 976 bytes more | Score: 4.96)

Job-Lingo Meanings
Play On Words "JOIN OUR FAST-PACED COMPANY": We have no time to train you.

"CASUAL WORK ATMOSPHERE": We don't pay enough to expect that you'll dress up; well, a couple of the real daring guys wear earrings.
Posted by JokeCrazy on Saturday, April 21 @ 00:09:40 CDT (1875 reads)
(Read More... | 533 bytes more | Score: 0)

Pizza of a third kind
Play On Words An American businessman goes to Japan on a business trip, but he hates Japanese food, so he asks the concierge at his hotel if there's any place to get American food.
Posted by JokeCrazy on Tuesday, July 10 @ 10:50:32 CDT (1848 reads)
(Read More... | 710 bytes more | Score: 2)

Barbeque Zone
Play On Words A couple had been married 15 years. One afternoon they were working in the garden together.

As the wife was bending over pulling weeds the husband said, "Hey honey, you are getting fat. Your butt is getting huge. I bet it's as big as the gas grill now."

The husband feeling he needed to prove his point, got a yardstick, measured the grill and then measured his wife's butt.
Posted by JokeCrazy on Monday, December 10 @ 23:27:14 CST (2287 reads)
(Read More... | 1050 bytes more | Score: 3)

Good for all occasions
Play On Words I've gotten to the age where I need my false teeth and hearing aid before I can ask where I left my glasses.
Posted by JokeCrazy on Saturday, April 14 @ 00:20:32 CDT (1783 reads)
(Read More... | 787 bytes more | Score: 0)

The Menopausal Years
Play On Words One thing that has not changed since the beginning of time, is how women react sexually to menopause. It can be extremely beneficial for you to know when your wife is entering her Menopausal years. A guide has been put together for you to help understand all the terms associated with Menopause in order you may prepare and diagnose the condition.

Hot Flashes ~ You come home from work one chilly day in December, and are greeted at the front door with your wife wearing nothing but a smile. You later find out that all the widows have been welded open and that she has sold your home heating system on e-bay.
Posted by JokeCrazy on Saturday, May 25 @ 00:08:52 CDT (11351 reads)
(Read More... | 3636 bytes more | Score: 4.33)

I can't sleep without it
Play On Words Amber: Oh, come on. Please?

Fred: No. Leave me alone.

Amber: It won't take too long.
Posted by JokeCrazy on Monday, April 16 @ 23:37:36 CDT (2028 reads)
(Read More... | 1058 bytes more | Score: 0)

LACTOMANGULATION
Play On Words Manhandling the "open here" spout on amilk container so badly that one has to resort to the "illegal" side.
Posted by JokeCrazy on Thursday, April 05 @ 06:44:37 CDT (1965 reads)
(Read More... | Score: 1)

The Zen Master
Play On Words The Zen Master is visiting New York City from Tibet. He goes up to a hotdog vendor and says, "Make me one with
everything."

The hot dog vendor fixes a hot dog and hands it to the Zen Master, who pays with a $20 bill.

The vendor puts the bill in the cash box and closes it. "Where's my change?" asks the Zen Master.
Posted by JokeCrazy on Tuesday, June 17 @ 00:05:00 CDT (20609 reads)
(Read More... | 404 bytes more | Score: 3.6)

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 Past Jokes
Monday, March 31
· Definitions of Words by Gender
Thursday, February 06
· Mother Truckers
Tuesday, December 24
· Anagrams
Sunday, September 29
· Combining Corn
Thursday, July 25
· Anybody know if Somebody found Nobody?
Friday, July 19
· Candy Coated
Friday, May 31
· If you have seen one
Saturday, May 25
· The Menopausal Years
Wednesday, May 01
· Damn Spam from Hell
Sunday, April 07
· Ode to the Spell Checker!

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