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Joke Crazy: Play On Words

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Anagrams
Play On Words Tiggs writes "An Anagram, as you all know, is a word or phrase made by transposing or rearranging the letters of another word or phrase. The following are exceptionally clever. Someone out there either has far too much spare time or is deadly at Scrabble.
--------------------------------------------
George Bush: When you rearrange the letters:
He bugs Gore
--------------------------------------------
Dormitory: When you rearrange the letters:
Dirty Room"
Posted by JokeCrazy on Monday, December 23 @ 23:05:00 CST (5000 reads)
(Read More... | 2145 bytes more | Score: 4.75)

Where is that Dictionary
Play On Words Eye have a spelling chequer
It came with my pea sea
It plainly marques four my revue
Miss steaks eye kin knot sea.

Eye strike a key and type a word
And weight four it two say
Weather eye am wrong oar write.
It shows me strait a weigh.

As soon as a mist ache is maid
It nose bee fore two long
and eye can put the error rite.
Its rare lea ever wrong.
Posted by JokeCrazy on Sunday, April 20 @ 00:05:00 CDT (2676 reads)
(Read More... | 583 bytes more | Score: 0)

There's No Place like Nome
Play On Words Flanman writes "Nome, in NW Alaska on the Bering Sea, is known for fabulous salmon fishing. But it is not well known that the milk from the indigenous Muskox, a large bison-like mammal with wool like sheep, makes equally fabulous butter. Milk from the female Muskox is churned in the Spring of each year and stored in casks in the cool waters of Nome River until Fall.

Melted and mixed with lemon juice, vinegar, seasoning, and egg yokes the result is a salmon sauce beyond comparison.

Families gather for feasting in November and December to relish the traditional salmon dinner topped with this unrivaled condiment."
Posted by JokeCrazy on Tuesday, October 14 @ 00:05:00 CDT (12986 reads)
(Read More... | 693 bytes more | Score: 4)

Definitions of Words by Gender
Play On Words THINGY (thing-ee) n.
Female: Any part under a car's hood.
Male: The strap fastener on a woman's bra.

VULNERABLE (vul-ne-ra-bel) adj.
Female: Fully opening up one's self emotionally to another.
Male: Playing football without a helmet.

COMMUNICATION (ko-myoo-ni-kay-shon) n.
Female: The open sharing of thoughts and feelings with one's partner.
Male: Scratching out a note before suddenly taking off for a weekend with
the boys.
Posted by JokeCrazy on Sunday, March 30 @ 23:05:00 CST (6122 reads)
(Read More... | 1659 bytes more | Score: 3.77)

The Menopausal Years
Play On Words One thing that has not changed since the beginning of time, is how women react sexually to menopause. It can be extremely beneficial for you to know when your wife is entering her Menopausal years. A guide has been put together for you to help understand all the terms associated with Menopause in order you may prepare and diagnose the condition.

Hot Flashes ~ You come home from work one chilly day in December, and are greeted at the front door with your wife wearing nothing but a smile. You later find out that all the widows have been welded open and that she has sold your home heating system on e-bay.
Posted by JokeCrazy on Saturday, May 25 @ 00:08:52 CDT (11566 reads)
(Read More... | 3636 bytes more | Score: 4.33)

Damn Spam from Hell
Play On Words "I am DAMNED, DAMNED-I-Am."

"I do not like that DAMNED-I-Am."

"Do you like porn and scam SPAM?"

"I do not like porn and scam SPAM, DAMNED I Am."

"Would you want it on your Palm? Would you send it to your mom?"
Posted by JokeCrazy on Wednesday, May 01 @ 02:12:05 CDT (2737 reads)
(Read More... | 1415 bytes more | Score: 0)

Same Thing
Play On Words Walking through San Francisco's Chinatown, a recent tourist from the Midwest was fascinated with all the Chinese restaurants, shops, signs and banners. One particular building, however, caught his eye with the sign "Moishe Plotnik's Chinese Laundry."

"Moishe Plotnik?" he wondered. "How does that fit in Chinatown?"

So he walked into the shop and saw a fairly standard looking Chinese laundry. He could see that the proprietors were clearly aware of the uniqueness of the name as there were baseball hats, T- Shirts and coffee mugs emblazoned with the logo "Moishe Plotnik's Chinese Laundry."

There was also a fair selection of Chinatown souvenirs, indicating that the name alone had brought many tourists into the shop. The tourist selected a coffee cup as a conversation piece to take back to his office.
Posted by JokeCrazy on Thursday, December 18 @ 23:05:00 CST (10988 reads)
(Read More... | 1745 bytes more | Score: 4)

How babies are made
Play On Words A second grader came home from school and said to her mother, "Mom, guess what? We learned how to make babies today."

The mother, more than a little surprised, tried to keep her cool. "That's interesting," she said, "How do you make babies?"
Posted by JokeCrazy on Sunday, November 11 @ 23:44:58 CST (2344 reads)
(Read More... | 336 bytes more | Score: 0)

If you have seen one
Play On Words A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt, and is named "Amal." The other goes to a family in Spain; they name him "Juan."

Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his mom. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Amal.
Posted by JokeCrazy on Friday, May 31 @ 00:45:23 CDT (4319 reads)
(Read More... | 432 bytes more | Score: 3.6)

Actual Signs
Play On Words In the front yard of a funeral home, "Drive carefully, we'll wait."

In a nonsmoking area, "If we see you smoking, we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action."
Posted by JokeCrazy on Saturday, April 21 @ 00:09:40 CDT (1997 reads)
(Read More... | 1488 bytes more | Score: 0)

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 Past Jokes
Monday, March 31
· Definitions of Words by Gender
Thursday, February 06
· Mother Truckers
Tuesday, December 24
· Anagrams
Sunday, September 29
· Combining Corn
Thursday, July 25
· Anybody know if Somebody found Nobody?
Friday, July 19
· Candy Coated
Friday, May 31
· If you have seen one
Saturday, May 25
· The Menopausal Years
Wednesday, May 01
· Damn Spam from Hell
Sunday, April 07
· Ode to the Spell Checker!

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