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Joke Crazy: Play On Words

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A Little Longer
Play On Words When I recently arrived at a very popular restaurant, I was dismayed to find it very crowded. Going up to the hostess I asked, "Will it be long?" Ignoring me, the hostess continued writing in her reservations book.

Thinking she had possibly not heard me the first time, I decided to ask again. "How much time is the wait for a table?"

Looking up from her book, the hostess smiled and said "About ten minutes. We will inform you when your table is ready."
Posted by JokeCrazy on Friday, October 31 @ 23:05:00 CST (10479 reads)
(Read More... | 614 bytes more | Score: 4)

Definitions of Words by Gender
Play On Words THINGY (thing-ee) n.
Female: Any part under a car's hood.
Male: The strap fastener on a woman's bra.

VULNERABLE (vul-ne-ra-bel) adj.
Female: Fully opening up one's self emotionally to another.
Male: Playing football without a helmet.

COMMUNICATION (ko-myoo-ni-kay-shon) n.
Female: The open sharing of thoughts and feelings with one's partner.
Male: Scratching out a note before suddenly taking off for a weekend with
the boys.
Posted by JokeCrazy on Sunday, March 30 @ 23:05:00 CST (6427 reads)
(Read More... | 1659 bytes more | Score: 3.77)

Gay Sitcom
Play On Words Q: Hear about the new gay sitcom?

A: "Leave it, it's Beaver."
Posted by JokeCrazy on Friday, June 27 @ 00:05:00 CDT (12675 reads)
(Read More... | Score: 2.5)

Where is that Dictionary
Play On Words Eye have a spelling chequer
It came with my pea sea
It plainly marques four my revue
Miss steaks eye kin knot sea.

Eye strike a key and type a word
And weight four it two say
Weather eye am wrong oar write.
It shows me strait a weigh.

As soon as a mist ache is maid
It nose bee fore two long
and eye can put the error rite.
Its rare lea ever wrong.
Posted by JokeCrazy on Sunday, April 20 @ 00:05:00 CDT (2755 reads)
(Read More... | 583 bytes more | Score: 0)

Ode to the Spell Checker!
Play On Words Eye halve a spelling chequer
It came with my pea sea
It plainly marques four my revue
Miss steaks eye kin knot sea.

Eye strike a key and type a word
And weight four it two say
Weather eye am wrong oar write
It shows me strait a weigh.

As soon as a mist ache is maid
It nose bee fore two long
And eye can put the error rite
Its rare lea ever wrong.
Posted by JokeCrazy on Saturday, April 06 @ 23:26:22 CST (3142 reads)
(Read More... | 614 bytes more | Score: 3.5)

I can't sleep without it
Play On Words Amber: Oh, come on. Please?

Fred: No. Leave me alone.

Amber: It won't take too long.
Posted by JokeCrazy on Monday, April 16 @ 23:37:36 CDT (2158 reads)
(Read More... | 1058 bytes more | Score: 0)

Anybody know if Somebody found Nobody?
Play On Words This is a story about four people named Everybody, Somebody, Anybody and Nobody.

There was an important job to be done and Everybody was sure that Somebody would do it.

Anybody could have done it, but Nobody did.
Posted by JokeCrazy on Thursday, July 25 @ 00:54:12 CDT (4904 reads)
(Read More... | 530 bytes more | Score: 4.5)

Just a Little
Play On Words A huge muscular man walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender hands him the beer and says, "You know, I'm not gay but I want to compliment you on your physique, it really is phenomenal! I have a question though, why is your head so small?"

The big guy nods slowly. He's obviously fielded this question many times. "One day," he begins, "I was hunting when I got lost in the woods. I heard someone crying for help and finally realized that it was coming from a frog sitting next to a stream. So I picked up the frog and it said, "Kiss me. Kiss me and I will turn into a genie and grant you 3 wishes." So I looked around to make sure I was alone and gave the frog a kiss.

POOF! The frog turned into a beautiful, voluptuous, naked woman.
Posted by JokeCrazy on Friday, September 05 @ 00:05:00 CDT (11040 reads)
(Read More... | 1499 bytes more | Score: 5)

This ones on You
Play On Words Q. Did you hear the joke they're not telling to assholes?
Posted by JokeCrazy on Sunday, May 04 @ 00:05:00 CDT (11153 reads)
(Read More... | 59 bytes more | Score: 0)

Actual Signs
Play On Words In the front yard of a funeral home, "Drive carefully, we'll wait."

In a nonsmoking area, "If we see you smoking, we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action."
Posted by JokeCrazy on Saturday, April 21 @ 00:09:40 CDT (2094 reads)
(Read More... | 1488 bytes more | Score: 0)

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 Today's Big Joke
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 Past Jokes
Monday, March 31
· Definitions of Words by Gender
Thursday, February 06
· Mother Truckers
Tuesday, December 24
· Anagrams
Sunday, September 29
· Combining Corn
Thursday, July 25
· Anybody know if Somebody found Nobody?
Friday, July 19
· Candy Coated
Friday, May 31
· If you have seen one
Saturday, May 25
· The Menopausal Years
Wednesday, May 01
· Damn Spam from Hell
Sunday, April 07
· Ode to the Spell Checker!

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