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Joke Crazy: Play On Words

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Just a Little
Play On Words A huge muscular man walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender hands him the beer and says, "You know, I'm not gay but I want to compliment you on your physique, it really is phenomenal! I have a question though, why is your head so small?"

The big guy nods slowly. He's obviously fielded this question many times. "One day," he begins, "I was hunting when I got lost in the woods. I heard someone crying for help and finally realized that it was coming from a frog sitting next to a stream. So I picked up the frog and it said, "Kiss me. Kiss me and I will turn into a genie and grant you 3 wishes." So I looked around to make sure I was alone and gave the frog a kiss.

POOF! The frog turned into a beautiful, voluptuous, naked woman.
Posted by JokeCrazy on Friday, September 05 @ 00:05:00 CDT (11070 reads)
(Read More... | 1499 bytes more | Score: 5)

Ode to the Spell Checker!
Play On Words Eye halve a spelling chequer
It came with my pea sea
It plainly marques four my revue
Miss steaks eye kin knot sea.

Eye strike a key and type a word
And weight four it two say
Weather eye am wrong oar write
It shows me strait a weigh.

As soon as a mist ache is maid
It nose bee fore two long
And eye can put the error rite
Its rare lea ever wrong.
Posted by JokeCrazy on Saturday, April 06 @ 23:26:22 CST (3165 reads)
(Read More... | 614 bytes more | Score: 3.5)

Same Thing
Play On Words Walking through San Francisco's Chinatown, a recent tourist from the Midwest was fascinated with all the Chinese restaurants, shops, signs and banners. One particular building, however, caught his eye with the sign "Moishe Plotnik's Chinese Laundry."

"Moishe Plotnik?" he wondered. "How does that fit in Chinatown?"

So he walked into the shop and saw a fairly standard looking Chinese laundry. He could see that the proprietors were clearly aware of the uniqueness of the name as there were baseball hats, T- Shirts and coffee mugs emblazoned with the logo "Moishe Plotnik's Chinese Laundry."

There was also a fair selection of Chinatown souvenirs, indicating that the name alone had brought many tourists into the shop. The tourist selected a coffee cup as a conversation piece to take back to his office.
Posted by JokeCrazy on Thursday, December 18 @ 23:05:00 CST (11429 reads)
(Read More... | 1745 bytes more | Score: 4)

Pizza of a third kind
Play On Words An American businessman goes to Japan on a business trip, but he hates Japanese food, so he asks the concierge at his hotel if there's any place to get American food.
Posted by JokeCrazy on Tuesday, July 10 @ 10:50:32 CDT (1950 reads)
(Read More... | 710 bytes more | Score: 2)

Computer beliefs
Play On Words Five reasons to believe computers are male:

1. They have a lot of data, but are still clueless.
2. A better model is right around the corner.
3. They look attractive - until you take them home.
4. Big power surges knock them out for the rest of the night.
5. In order to get their attention, you have to turn them on.
Posted by JokeCrazy on Sunday, January 27 @ 00:31:42 CST (2326 reads)
(Read More... | 979 bytes more | Score: 0)

The Menopausal Years
Play On Words One thing that has not changed since the beginning of time, is how women react sexually to menopause. It can be extremely beneficial for you to know when your wife is entering her Menopausal years. A guide has been put together for you to help understand all the terms associated with Menopause in order you may prepare and diagnose the condition.

Hot Flashes ~ You come home from work one chilly day in December, and are greeted at the front door with your wife wearing nothing but a smile. You later find out that all the widows have been welded open and that she has sold your home heating system on e-bay.
Posted by JokeCrazy on Saturday, May 25 @ 00:08:52 CDT (13024 reads)
(Read More... | 3636 bytes more | Score: 4.33)

Candy Coated
Play On Words One pay day, Mr. Goodbar wanted to Skor.

So he took Miss Hershey to the Pot of Gold Motel on the corner of Aero and Fifth Avenue to show her some Twix.

He began to feel her Mounds that were pure Almond Joy.

It made her Tootsie Roll, and made him want to Eatmore.
Posted by JokeCrazy on Friday, July 19 @ 00:15:25 CDT (3277 reads)
(Read More... | 818 bytes more | Score: 5)

Damn Spam from Hell
Play On Words "I am DAMNED, DAMNED-I-Am."

"I do not like that DAMNED-I-Am."

"Do you like porn and scam SPAM?"

"I do not like porn and scam SPAM, DAMNED I Am."

"Would you want it on your Palm? Would you send it to your mom?"
Posted by JokeCrazy on Wednesday, May 01 @ 02:12:05 CDT (2872 reads)
(Read More... | 1415 bytes more | Score: 0)

Mother Truckers
Play On Words At a red light, a wedded couple were in danger of being cooked alive by the sonic energy of the sound waves from the radio in the car next to them.

That car was being driven by a couple of brothas who were, shall we say, "Rap-Enhanced." They were having a rather animated conversation with some otha brotha in the *next* car over to them.

Because of the volume of the radios involved, it was difficult to make out their conversations, but the wedded couple gathered each party was pleased to have truck driving moms as they talked incessantly about those motha truckas with each sentence.
Posted by JokeCrazy on Wednesday, February 05 @ 23:05:00 CST (3332 reads)
(Read More... | 1870 bytes more | Score: 1)

There's No Place like Nome
Play On Words Flanman writes "Nome, in NW Alaska on the Bering Sea, is known for fabulous salmon fishing. But it is not well known that the milk from the indigenous Muskox, a large bison-like mammal with wool like sheep, makes equally fabulous butter. Milk from the female Muskox is churned in the Spring of each year and stored in casks in the cool waters of Nome River until Fall.

Melted and mixed with lemon juice, vinegar, seasoning, and egg yokes the result is a salmon sauce beyond comparison.

Families gather for feasting in November and December to relish the traditional salmon dinner topped with this unrivaled condiment."
Posted by JokeCrazy on Tuesday, October 14 @ 00:05:00 CDT (13655 reads)
(Read More... | 693 bytes more | Score: 4)

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 Past Jokes
Monday, March 31
· Definitions of Words by Gender
Thursday, February 06
· Mother Truckers
Tuesday, December 24
· Anagrams
Sunday, September 29
· Combining Corn
Thursday, July 25
· Anybody know if Somebody found Nobody?
Friday, July 19
· Candy Coated
Friday, May 31
· If you have seen one
Saturday, May 25
· The Menopausal Years
Wednesday, May 01
· Damn Spam from Hell
Sunday, April 07
· Ode to the Spell Checker!

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