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Joke Crazy: Play On Words

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Actual Signs
Play On Words In the front yard of a funeral home, "Drive carefully, we'll wait."

In a nonsmoking area, "If we see you smoking, we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action."
Posted by JokeCrazy on Saturday, April 21 @ 01:09:40 CDT (2083 reads)
(Read More... | 1488 bytes more | Score: 0)

Just a Little
Play On Words A huge muscular man walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender hands him the beer and says, "You know, I'm not gay but I want to compliment you on your physique, it really is phenomenal! I have a question though, why is your head so small?"

The big guy nods slowly. He's obviously fielded this question many times. "One day," he begins, "I was hunting when I got lost in the woods. I heard someone crying for help and finally realized that it was coming from a frog sitting next to a stream. So I picked up the frog and it said, "Kiss me. Kiss me and I will turn into a genie and grant you 3 wishes." So I looked around to make sure I was alone and gave the frog a kiss.

POOF! The frog turned into a beautiful, voluptuous, naked woman.
Posted by JokeCrazy on Friday, September 05 @ 01:05:00 CDT (11025 reads)
(Read More... | 1499 bytes more | Score: 5)

Fun Guy
Play On Words A mushroom walks into a bar one evening, sits down, and orders a drink.
Posted by JokeCrazy on Thursday, April 19 @ 03:33:06 CDT (2220 reads)
(Read More... | 200 bytes more | Score: 2)

The Menopausal Years
Play On Words One thing that has not changed since the beginning of time, is how women react sexually to menopause. It can be extremely beneficial for you to know when your wife is entering her Menopausal years. A guide has been put together for you to help understand all the terms associated with Menopause in order you may prepare and diagnose the condition.

Hot Flashes ~ You come home from work one chilly day in December, and are greeted at the front door with your wife wearing nothing but a smile. You later find out that all the widows have been welded open and that she has sold your home heating system on e-bay.
Posted by JokeCrazy on Saturday, May 25 @ 01:08:52 CDT (12872 reads)
(Read More... | 3636 bytes more | Score: 4.33)

I can't sleep without it
Play On Words Amber: Oh, come on. Please?

Fred: No. Leave me alone.

Amber: It won't take too long.
Posted by JokeCrazy on Tuesday, April 17 @ 00:37:36 CDT (2130 reads)
(Read More... | 1058 bytes more | Score: 0)

How babies are made
Play On Words A second grader came home from school and said to her mother, "Mom, guess what? We learned how to make babies today."

The mother, more than a little surprised, tried to keep her cool. "That's interesting," she said, "How do you make babies?"
Posted by JokeCrazy on Monday, November 12 @ 00:44:58 CST (2649 reads)
(Read More... | 336 bytes more | Score: 0)

Candy Coated
Play On Words One pay day, Mr. Goodbar wanted to Skor.

So he took Miss Hershey to the Pot of Gold Motel on the corner of Aero and Fifth Avenue to show her some Twix.

He began to feel her Mounds that were pure Almond Joy.

It made her Tootsie Roll, and made him want to Eatmore.
Posted by JokeCrazy on Friday, July 19 @ 01:15:25 CDT (3249 reads)
(Read More... | 818 bytes more | Score: 5)

This ones on You
Play On Words Q. Did you hear the joke they're not telling to assholes?
Posted by JokeCrazy on Sunday, May 04 @ 01:05:00 CDT (11132 reads)
(Read More... | 59 bytes more | Score: 0)

The Zen Master
Play On Words The Zen Master is visiting New York City from Tibet. He goes up to a hotdog vendor and says, "Make me one with
everything."

The hot dog vendor fixes a hot dog and hands it to the Zen Master, who pays with a $20 bill.

The vendor puts the bill in the cash box and closes it. "Where's my change?" asks the Zen Master.
Posted by JokeCrazy on Tuesday, June 17 @ 01:05:00 CDT (21432 reads)
(Read More... | 404 bytes more | Score: 3.6)

There's No Place like Nome
Play On Words Flanman writes "Nome, in NW Alaska on the Bering Sea, is known for fabulous salmon fishing. But it is not well known that the milk from the indigenous Muskox, a large bison-like mammal with wool like sheep, makes equally fabulous butter. Milk from the female Muskox is churned in the Spring of each year and stored in casks in the cool waters of Nome River until Fall.

Melted and mixed with lemon juice, vinegar, seasoning, and egg yokes the result is a salmon sauce beyond comparison.

Families gather for feasting in November and December to relish the traditional salmon dinner topped with this unrivaled condiment."
Posted by JokeCrazy on Tuesday, October 14 @ 01:05:00 CDT (13514 reads)
(Read More... | 693 bytes more | Score: 4)

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 Past Jokes
Monday, March 31
· Definitions of Words by Gender
Thursday, February 06
· Mother Truckers
Tuesday, December 24
· Anagrams
Sunday, September 29
· Combining Corn
Thursday, July 25
· Anybody know if Somebody found Nobody?
Friday, July 19
· Candy Coated
Friday, May 31
· If you have seen one
Saturday, May 25
· The Menopausal Years
Wednesday, May 01
· Damn Spam from Hell
Sunday, April 07
· Ode to the Spell Checker!

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