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Joke Crazy: Play On Words

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Gay Sitcom
Play On Words Q: Hear about the new gay sitcom?

A: "Leave it, it's Beaver."
Posted by JokeCrazy on Friday, June 27 @ 01:05:00 CDT (12448 reads)
(Read More... | Score: 2.5)

Just a Little
Play On Words A huge muscular man walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender hands him the beer and says, "You know, I'm not gay but I want to compliment you on your physique, it really is phenomenal! I have a question though, why is your head so small?"

The big guy nods slowly. He's obviously fielded this question many times. "One day," he begins, "I was hunting when I got lost in the woods. I heard someone crying for help and finally realized that it was coming from a frog sitting next to a stream. So I picked up the frog and it said, "Kiss me. Kiss me and I will turn into a genie and grant you 3 wishes." So I looked around to make sure I was alone and gave the frog a kiss.

POOF! The frog turned into a beautiful, voluptuous, naked woman.
Posted by JokeCrazy on Friday, September 05 @ 01:05:00 CDT (10876 reads)
(Read More... | 1499 bytes more | Score: 5)

Job-Lingo Meanings
Play On Words "JOIN OUR FAST-PACED COMPANY": We have no time to train you.

"CASUAL WORK ATMOSPHERE": We don't pay enough to expect that you'll dress up; well, a couple of the real daring guys wear earrings.
Posted by JokeCrazy on Saturday, April 21 @ 01:09:40 CDT (1905 reads)
(Read More... | 533 bytes more | Score: 0)

Definitions of Words by Gender
Play On Words THINGY (thing-ee) n.
Female: Any part under a car's hood.
Male: The strap fastener on a woman's bra.

VULNERABLE (vul-ne-ra-bel) adj.
Female: Fully opening up one's self emotionally to another.
Male: Playing football without a helmet.

COMMUNICATION (ko-myoo-ni-kay-shon) n.
Female: The open sharing of thoughts and feelings with one's partner.
Male: Scratching out a note before suddenly taking off for a weekend with
the boys.
Posted by JokeCrazy on Monday, March 31 @ 00:05:00 CST (6190 reads)
(Read More... | 1659 bytes more | Score: 3.77)

The Menopausal Years
Play On Words One thing that has not changed since the beginning of time, is how women react sexually to menopause. It can be extremely beneficial for you to know when your wife is entering her Menopausal years. A guide has been put together for you to help understand all the terms associated with Menopause in order you may prepare and diagnose the condition.

Hot Flashes ~ You come home from work one chilly day in December, and are greeted at the front door with your wife wearing nothing but a smile. You later find out that all the widows have been welded open and that she has sold your home heating system on e-bay.
Posted by JokeCrazy on Saturday, May 25 @ 01:08:52 CDT (11813 reads)
(Read More... | 3636 bytes more | Score: 4.33)

Computer beliefs
Play On Words Five reasons to believe computers are male:

1. They have a lot of data, but are still clueless.
2. A better model is right around the corner.
3. They look attractive - until you take them home.
4. Big power surges knock them out for the rest of the night.
5. In order to get their attention, you have to turn them on.
Posted by JokeCrazy on Sunday, January 27 @ 01:31:42 CST (2280 reads)
(Read More... | 979 bytes more | Score: 0)

Same Thing
Play On Words Walking through San Francisco's Chinatown, a recent tourist from the Midwest was fascinated with all the Chinese restaurants, shops, signs and banners. One particular building, however, caught his eye with the sign "Moishe Plotnik's Chinese Laundry."

"Moishe Plotnik?" he wondered. "How does that fit in Chinatown?"

So he walked into the shop and saw a fairly standard looking Chinese laundry. He could see that the proprietors were clearly aware of the uniqueness of the name as there were baseball hats, T- Shirts and coffee mugs emblazoned with the logo "Moishe Plotnik's Chinese Laundry."

There was also a fair selection of Chinatown souvenirs, indicating that the name alone had brought many tourists into the shop. The tourist selected a coffee cup as a conversation piece to take back to his office.
Posted by JokeCrazy on Friday, December 19 @ 00:05:00 CST (11067 reads)
(Read More... | 1745 bytes more | Score: 4)

A Little Longer
Play On Words When I recently arrived at a very popular restaurant, I was dismayed to find it very crowded. Going up to the hostess I asked, "Will it be long?" Ignoring me, the hostess continued writing in her reservations book.

Thinking she had possibly not heard me the first time, I decided to ask again. "How much time is the wait for a table?"

Looking up from her book, the hostess smiled and said "About ten minutes. We will inform you when your table is ready."
Posted by JokeCrazy on Saturday, November 01 @ 00:05:00 CST (10277 reads)
(Read More... | 614 bytes more | Score: 4)

The Zen Master
Play On Words The Zen Master is visiting New York City from Tibet. He goes up to a hotdog vendor and says, "Make me one with
everything."

The hot dog vendor fixes a hot dog and hands it to the Zen Master, who pays with a $20 bill.

The vendor puts the bill in the cash box and closes it. "Where's my change?" asks the Zen Master.
Posted by JokeCrazy on Tuesday, June 17 @ 01:05:00 CDT (20857 reads)
(Read More... | 404 bytes more | Score: 3.6)

Candy Coated
Play On Words One pay day, Mr. Goodbar wanted to Skor.

So he took Miss Hershey to the Pot of Gold Motel on the corner of Aero and Fifth Avenue to show her some Twix.

He began to feel her Mounds that were pure Almond Joy.

It made her Tootsie Roll, and made him want to Eatmore.
Posted by JokeCrazy on Friday, July 19 @ 01:15:25 CDT (3165 reads)
(Read More... | 818 bytes more | Score: 5)

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 Past Jokes
Monday, March 31
· Definitions of Words by Gender
Thursday, February 06
· Mother Truckers
Tuesday, December 24
· Anagrams
Sunday, September 29
· Combining Corn
Thursday, July 25
· Anybody know if Somebody found Nobody?
Friday, July 19
· Candy Coated
Friday, May 31
· If you have seen one
Saturday, May 25
· The Menopausal Years
Wednesday, May 01
· Damn Spam from Hell
Sunday, April 07
· Ode to the Spell Checker!

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