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Joke Crazy: Play On Words

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Who Needs Glasses
Play On Words My face in the mirror
Isn't wrinkled or drawn.
My house isn't dirty.
The cobwebs are gone.
My garden looks lovely,
And so does my lawn.
I think I might never
Put my glasses back on.
Posted by JokeCrazy on Tuesday, August 12 @ 00:05:00 CDT (10987 reads)
(Read More... | Score: 4)

Video store clerks hear new titles
Play On Words It seems that video store clerks hear a lot of weird titles for movies:
Posted by JokeCrazy on Wednesday, July 04 @ 03:45:47 CDT (2033 reads)
(Read More... | 939 bytes more | Score: 2)

Gay Sitcom
Play On Words Q: Hear about the new gay sitcom?

A: "Leave it, it's Beaver."
Posted by JokeCrazy on Friday, June 27 @ 00:05:00 CDT (12541 reads)
(Read More... | Score: 2.5)

Good for all occasions
Play On Words I've gotten to the age where I need my false teeth and hearing aid before I can ask where I left my glasses.
Posted by JokeCrazy on Saturday, April 14 @ 00:20:32 CDT (1829 reads)
(Read More... | 787 bytes more | Score: 0)

Where is that Dictionary
Play On Words Eye have a spelling chequer
It came with my pea sea
It plainly marques four my revue
Miss steaks eye kin knot sea.

Eye strike a key and type a word
And weight four it two say
Weather eye am wrong oar write.
It shows me strait a weigh.

As soon as a mist ache is maid
It nose bee fore two long
and eye can put the error rite.
Its rare lea ever wrong.
Posted by JokeCrazy on Sunday, April 20 @ 00:05:00 CDT (2718 reads)
(Read More... | 583 bytes more | Score: 0)

Definitions of Words by Gender
Play On Words THINGY (thing-ee) n.
Female: Any part under a car's hood.
Male: The strap fastener on a woman's bra.

VULNERABLE (vul-ne-ra-bel) adj.
Female: Fully opening up one's self emotionally to another.
Male: Playing football without a helmet.

COMMUNICATION (ko-myoo-ni-kay-shon) n.
Female: The open sharing of thoughts and feelings with one's partner.
Male: Scratching out a note before suddenly taking off for a weekend with
the boys.
Posted by JokeCrazy on Sunday, March 30 @ 23:05:00 CST (6351 reads)
(Read More... | 1659 bytes more | Score: 3.77)

Computer beliefs
Play On Words Five reasons to believe computers are male:

1. They have a lot of data, but are still clueless.
2. A better model is right around the corner.
3. They look attractive - until you take them home.
4. Big power surges knock them out for the rest of the night.
5. In order to get their attention, you have to turn them on.
Posted by JokeCrazy on Sunday, January 27 @ 00:31:42 CST (2295 reads)
(Read More... | 979 bytes more | Score: 0)

Ode to the Spell Checker!
Play On Words Eye halve a spelling chequer
It came with my pea sea
It plainly marques four my revue
Miss steaks eye kin knot sea.

Eye strike a key and type a word
And weight four it two say
Weather eye am wrong oar write
It shows me strait a weigh.

As soon as a mist ache is maid
It nose bee fore two long
And eye can put the error rite
Its rare lea ever wrong.
Posted by JokeCrazy on Saturday, April 06 @ 23:26:22 CST (3093 reads)
(Read More... | 614 bytes more | Score: 3.5)

Anagrams
Play On Words Tiggs writes "An Anagram, as you all know, is a word or phrase made by transposing or rearranging the letters of another word or phrase. The following are exceptionally clever. Someone out there either has far too much spare time or is deadly at Scrabble.
--------------------------------------------
George Bush: When you rearrange the letters:
He bugs Gore
--------------------------------------------
Dormitory: When you rearrange the letters:
Dirty Room"
Posted by JokeCrazy on Monday, December 23 @ 23:05:00 CST (5177 reads)
(Read More... | 2145 bytes more | Score: 4.75)

If you have seen one
Play On Words A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt, and is named "Amal." The other goes to a family in Spain; they name him "Juan."

Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his mom. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Amal.
Posted by JokeCrazy on Friday, May 31 @ 00:45:23 CDT (4421 reads)
(Read More... | 432 bytes more | Score: 3.6)

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 Past Jokes
Monday, March 31
· Definitions of Words by Gender
Thursday, February 06
· Mother Truckers
Tuesday, December 24
· Anagrams
Sunday, September 29
· Combining Corn
Thursday, July 25
· Anybody know if Somebody found Nobody?
Friday, July 19
· Candy Coated
Friday, May 31
· If you have seen one
Saturday, May 25
· The Menopausal Years
Wednesday, May 01
· Damn Spam from Hell
Sunday, April 07
· Ode to the Spell Checker!

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