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Joke Crazy: Play On Words

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Anybody know if Somebody found Nobody?
Play On Words This is a story about four people named Everybody, Somebody, Anybody and Nobody.

There was an important job to be done and Everybody was sure that Somebody would do it.

Anybody could have done it, but Nobody did.
Posted by JokeCrazy on Thursday, July 25 @ 00:54:12 CDT (4829 reads)
(Read More... | 530 bytes more | Score: 4.5)

Barbeque Zone
Play On Words A couple had been married 15 years. One afternoon they were working in the garden together.

As the wife was bending over pulling weeds the husband said, "Hey honey, you are getting fat. Your butt is getting huge. I bet it's as big as the gas grill now."

The husband feeling he needed to prove his point, got a yardstick, measured the grill and then measured his wife's butt.
Posted by JokeCrazy on Monday, December 10 @ 23:27:14 CST (2335 reads)
(Read More... | 1050 bytes more | Score: 3)

This ones on You
Play On Words Q. Did you hear the joke they're not telling to assholes?
Posted by JokeCrazy on Sunday, May 04 @ 00:05:00 CDT (10978 reads)
(Read More... | 59 bytes more | Score: 0)

Good for all occasions
Play On Words I've gotten to the age where I need my false teeth and hearing aid before I can ask where I left my glasses.
Posted by JokeCrazy on Saturday, April 14 @ 00:20:32 CDT (1821 reads)
(Read More... | 787 bytes more | Score: 0)

Gay Sitcom
Play On Words Q: Hear about the new gay sitcom?

A: "Leave it, it's Beaver."
Posted by JokeCrazy on Friday, June 27 @ 00:05:00 CDT (12498 reads)
(Read More... | Score: 2.5)

Same Thing
Play On Words Walking through San Francisco's Chinatown, a recent tourist from the Midwest was fascinated with all the Chinese restaurants, shops, signs and banners. One particular building, however, caught his eye with the sign "Moishe Plotnik's Chinese Laundry."

"Moishe Plotnik?" he wondered. "How does that fit in Chinatown?"

So he walked into the shop and saw a fairly standard looking Chinese laundry. He could see that the proprietors were clearly aware of the uniqueness of the name as there were baseball hats, T- Shirts and coffee mugs emblazoned with the logo "Moishe Plotnik's Chinese Laundry."

There was also a fair selection of Chinatown souvenirs, indicating that the name alone had brought many tourists into the shop. The tourist selected a coffee cup as a conversation piece to take back to his office.
Posted by JokeCrazy on Thursday, December 18 @ 23:05:00 CST (11128 reads)
(Read More... | 1745 bytes more | Score: 4)

Combining Corn
Play On Words A farmer was sitting at the table while his wife was preparing dinner. His wife dropped a spoon and bent over to pick it up. As she bent over the farmer said, "Honey, your butt is as big as a combine."

The wife picks up the spoon and continues cooking with no comment to her husband. As she put the dinner on the table she dropped the pepper shaker on the floor. While she was bent over picking it up the farmer said, "Honey I take that back. Your butt is as big as two combines!"
Posted by JokeCrazy on Sunday, September 29 @ 01:54:14 CDT (7871 reads)
(Read More... | 976 bytes more | Score: 4.96)

LACTOMANGULATION
Play On Words Manhandling the "open here" spout on amilk container so badly that one has to resort to the "illegal" side.
Posted by JokeCrazy on Thursday, April 05 @ 06:44:37 CDT (1997 reads)
(Read More... | Score: 1)

Job-Lingo Meanings
Play On Words "JOIN OUR FAST-PACED COMPANY": We have no time to train you.

"CASUAL WORK ATMOSPHERE": We don't pay enough to expect that you'll dress up; well, a couple of the real daring guys wear earrings.
Posted by JokeCrazy on Saturday, April 21 @ 00:09:40 CDT (1913 reads)
(Read More... | 533 bytes more | Score: 0)

Pizza of a third kind
Play On Words An American businessman goes to Japan on a business trip, but he hates Japanese food, so he asks the concierge at his hotel if there's any place to get American food.
Posted by JokeCrazy on Tuesday, July 10 @ 10:50:32 CDT (1901 reads)
(Read More... | 710 bytes more | Score: 2)

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 Past Jokes
Monday, March 31
· Definitions of Words by Gender
Thursday, February 06
· Mother Truckers
Tuesday, December 24
· Anagrams
Sunday, September 29
· Combining Corn
Thursday, July 25
· Anybody know if Somebody found Nobody?
Friday, July 19
· Candy Coated
Friday, May 31
· If you have seen one
Saturday, May 25
· The Menopausal Years
Wednesday, May 01
· Damn Spam from Hell
Sunday, April 07
· Ode to the Spell Checker!

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