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Joke Crazy: Play On Words

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Job-Lingo Meanings
Play On Words "JOIN OUR FAST-PACED COMPANY": We have no time to train you.

"CASUAL WORK ATMOSPHERE": We don't pay enough to expect that you'll dress up; well, a couple of the real daring guys wear earrings.
Posted by JokeCrazy on Saturday, April 21 @ 00:09:40 CDT (1915 reads)
(Read More... | 533 bytes more | Score: 0)

Where is that Dictionary
Play On Words Eye have a spelling chequer
It came with my pea sea
It plainly marques four my revue
Miss steaks eye kin knot sea.

Eye strike a key and type a word
And weight four it two say
Weather eye am wrong oar write.
It shows me strait a weigh.

As soon as a mist ache is maid
It nose bee fore two long
and eye can put the error rite.
Its rare lea ever wrong.
Posted by JokeCrazy on Sunday, April 20 @ 00:05:00 CDT (2716 reads)
(Read More... | 583 bytes more | Score: 0)

This ones on You
Play On Words Q. Did you hear the joke they're not telling to assholes?
Posted by JokeCrazy on Sunday, May 04 @ 00:05:00 CDT (10994 reads)
(Read More... | 59 bytes more | Score: 0)

There's No Place like Nome
Play On Words Flanman writes "Nome, in NW Alaska on the Bering Sea, is known for fabulous salmon fishing. But it is not well known that the milk from the indigenous Muskox, a large bison-like mammal with wool like sheep, makes equally fabulous butter. Milk from the female Muskox is churned in the Spring of each year and stored in casks in the cool waters of Nome River until Fall.

Melted and mixed with lemon juice, vinegar, seasoning, and egg yokes the result is a salmon sauce beyond comparison.

Families gather for feasting in November and December to relish the traditional salmon dinner topped with this unrivaled condiment."
Posted by JokeCrazy on Tuesday, October 14 @ 00:05:00 CDT (13258 reads)
(Read More... | 693 bytes more | Score: 4)

LACTOMANGULATION
Play On Words Manhandling the "open here" spout on amilk container so badly that one has to resort to the "illegal" side.
Posted by JokeCrazy on Thursday, April 05 @ 06:44:37 CDT (2000 reads)
(Read More... | Score: 1)

Computer beliefs
Play On Words Five reasons to believe computers are male:

1. They have a lot of data, but are still clueless.
2. A better model is right around the corner.
3. They look attractive - until you take them home.
4. Big power surges knock them out for the rest of the night.
5. In order to get their attention, you have to turn them on.
Posted by JokeCrazy on Sunday, January 27 @ 00:31:42 CST (2293 reads)
(Read More... | 979 bytes more | Score: 0)

Anagrams
Play On Words Tiggs writes "An Anagram, as you all know, is a word or phrase made by transposing or rearranging the letters of another word or phrase. The following are exceptionally clever. Someone out there either has far too much spare time or is deadly at Scrabble.
--------------------------------------------
George Bush: When you rearrange the letters:
He bugs Gore
--------------------------------------------
Dormitory: When you rearrange the letters:
Dirty Room"
Posted by JokeCrazy on Monday, December 23 @ 23:05:00 CST (5168 reads)
(Read More... | 2145 bytes more | Score: 4.75)

Same Thing
Play On Words Walking through San Francisco's Chinatown, a recent tourist from the Midwest was fascinated with all the Chinese restaurants, shops, signs and banners. One particular building, however, caught his eye with the sign "Moishe Plotnik's Chinese Laundry."

"Moishe Plotnik?" he wondered. "How does that fit in Chinatown?"

So he walked into the shop and saw a fairly standard looking Chinese laundry. He could see that the proprietors were clearly aware of the uniqueness of the name as there were baseball hats, T- Shirts and coffee mugs emblazoned with the logo "Moishe Plotnik's Chinese Laundry."

There was also a fair selection of Chinatown souvenirs, indicating that the name alone had brought many tourists into the shop. The tourist selected a coffee cup as a conversation piece to take back to his office.
Posted by JokeCrazy on Thursday, December 18 @ 23:05:00 CST (11160 reads)
(Read More... | 1745 bytes more | Score: 4)

Combining Corn
Play On Words A farmer was sitting at the table while his wife was preparing dinner. His wife dropped a spoon and bent over to pick it up. As she bent over the farmer said, "Honey, your butt is as big as a combine."

The wife picks up the spoon and continues cooking with no comment to her husband. As she put the dinner on the table she dropped the pepper shaker on the floor. While she was bent over picking it up the farmer said, "Honey I take that back. Your butt is as big as two combines!"
Posted by JokeCrazy on Sunday, September 29 @ 01:54:14 CDT (7984 reads)
(Read More... | 976 bytes more | Score: 4.96)

How babies are made
Play On Words A second grader came home from school and said to her mother, "Mom, guess what? We learned how to make babies today."

The mother, more than a little surprised, tried to keep her cool. "That's interesting," she said, "How do you make babies?"
Posted by JokeCrazy on Sunday, November 11 @ 23:44:58 CST (2523 reads)
(Read More... | 336 bytes more | Score: 0)

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 Past Jokes
Monday, March 31
· Definitions of Words by Gender
Thursday, February 06
· Mother Truckers
Tuesday, December 24
· Anagrams
Sunday, September 29
· Combining Corn
Thursday, July 25
· Anybody know if Somebody found Nobody?
Friday, July 19
· Candy Coated
Friday, May 31
· If you have seen one
Saturday, May 25
· The Menopausal Years
Wednesday, May 01
· Damn Spam from Hell
Sunday, April 07
· Ode to the Spell Checker!

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