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Joke Crazy: Play On Words

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Candy Coated
Play On Words One pay day, Mr. Goodbar wanted to Skor.

So he took Miss Hershey to the Pot of Gold Motel on the corner of Aero and Fifth Avenue to show her some Twix.

He began to feel her Mounds that were pure Almond Joy.

It made her Tootsie Roll, and made him want to Eatmore.
Posted by JokeCrazy on Friday, July 19 @ 01:15:25 CDT (3297 reads)
(Read More... | 818 bytes more | Score: 5)

Job-Lingo Meanings
Play On Words "JOIN OUR FAST-PACED COMPANY": We have no time to train you.

"CASUAL WORK ATMOSPHERE": We don't pay enough to expect that you'll dress up; well, a couple of the real daring guys wear earrings.
Posted by JokeCrazy on Saturday, April 21 @ 01:09:40 CDT (1955 reads)
(Read More... | 533 bytes more | Score: 0)

Computer beliefs
Play On Words Five reasons to believe computers are male:

1. They have a lot of data, but are still clueless.
2. A better model is right around the corner.
3. They look attractive - until you take them home.
4. Big power surges knock them out for the rest of the night.
5. In order to get their attention, you have to turn them on.
Posted by JokeCrazy on Sunday, January 27 @ 01:31:42 CST (2342 reads)
(Read More... | 979 bytes more | Score: 0)

Definitions of Words by Gender
Play On Words THINGY (thing-ee) n.
Female: Any part under a car's hood.
Male: The strap fastener on a woman's bra.

VULNERABLE (vul-ne-ra-bel) adj.
Female: Fully opening up one's self emotionally to another.
Male: Playing football without a helmet.

COMMUNICATION (ko-myoo-ni-kay-shon) n.
Female: The open sharing of thoughts and feelings with one's partner.
Male: Scratching out a note before suddenly taking off for a weekend with
the boys.
Posted by JokeCrazy on Monday, March 31 @ 00:05:00 CST (6455 reads)
(Read More... | 1659 bytes more | Score: 3.77)

Video store clerks hear new titles
Play On Words It seems that video store clerks hear a lot of weird titles for movies:
Posted by JokeCrazy on Wednesday, July 04 @ 04:45:47 CDT (2074 reads)
(Read More... | 939 bytes more | Score: 2)

Just a Little
Play On Words A huge muscular man walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender hands him the beer and says, "You know, I'm not gay but I want to compliment you on your physique, it really is phenomenal! I have a question though, why is your head so small?"

The big guy nods slowly. He's obviously fielded this question many times. "One day," he begins, "I was hunting when I got lost in the woods. I heard someone crying for help and finally realized that it was coming from a frog sitting next to a stream. So I picked up the frog and it said, "Kiss me. Kiss me and I will turn into a genie and grant you 3 wishes." So I looked around to make sure I was alone and gave the frog a kiss.

POOF! The frog turned into a beautiful, voluptuous, naked woman.
Posted by JokeCrazy on Friday, September 05 @ 01:05:00 CDT (11104 reads)
(Read More... | 1499 bytes more | Score: 5)

Where is that Dictionary
Play On Words Eye have a spelling chequer
It came with my pea sea
It plainly marques four my revue
Miss steaks eye kin knot sea.

Eye strike a key and type a word
And weight four it two say
Weather eye am wrong oar write.
It shows me strait a weigh.

As soon as a mist ache is maid
It nose bee fore two long
and eye can put the error rite.
Its rare lea ever wrong.
Posted by JokeCrazy on Sunday, April 20 @ 01:05:00 CDT (2769 reads)
(Read More... | 583 bytes more | Score: 0)

This is Cat
Play On Words Read each line ALOUD:

This is this cat
This is is cat
This is how cat
This is to cat
This is keep cat
This is a cat
This is dumbass cat
This is busy cat
This is for cat
This is about cat
This is ten cat
This is seconds cat
Posted by JokeCrazy on Thursday, August 07 @ 01:05:00 CDT (15561 reads)
(Read More... | 376 bytes more | Score: 3.33)

What's Your Wish?
Play On Words A man walked into a bar looking disappointed and carrying a black bag over one shoulder. He sat down at the bar just as the bartender walked up.

"What's in the bag?," asked the bartender.

The man put the bag on the bar, reached in and pulled out a miniature baby grand piano, a small bench, and a 12-inch-tall man wearing a top hat and a tux with tails.
Posted by JokeCrazy on Wednesday, December 05 @ 04:24:43 CST (2263 reads)
(Read More... | 1689 bytes more | Score: 3.5)

Good for all occasions
Play On Words I've gotten to the age where I need my false teeth and hearing aid before I can ask where I left my glasses.
Posted by JokeCrazy on Saturday, April 14 @ 01:20:32 CDT (1868 reads)
(Read More... | 787 bytes more | Score: 0)

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 Past Jokes
Monday, March 31
· Definitions of Words by Gender
Thursday, February 06
· Mother Truckers
Tuesday, December 24
· Anagrams
Sunday, September 29
· Combining Corn
Thursday, July 25
· Anybody know if Somebody found Nobody?
Friday, July 19
· Candy Coated
Friday, May 31
· If you have seen one
Saturday, May 25
· The Menopausal Years
Wednesday, May 01
· Damn Spam from Hell
Sunday, April 07
· Ode to the Spell Checker!

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