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Joke Crazy: Play On Words

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Where is that Dictionary
Play On Words Eye have a spelling chequer
It came with my pea sea
It plainly marques four my revue
Miss steaks eye kin knot sea.

Eye strike a key and type a word
And weight four it two say
Weather eye am wrong oar write.
It shows me strait a weigh.

As soon as a mist ache is maid
It nose bee fore two long
and eye can put the error rite.
Its rare lea ever wrong.
Posted by JokeCrazy on Sunday, April 20 @ 01:05:00 CDT (2822 reads)
(Read More... | 583 bytes more | Score: 0)

Pizza of a third kind
Play On Words An American businessman goes to Japan on a business trip, but he hates Japanese food, so he asks the concierge at his hotel if there's any place to get American food.
Posted by JokeCrazy on Tuesday, July 10 @ 11:50:32 CDT (2056 reads)
(Read More... | 710 bytes more | Score: 2)

Combining Corn
Play On Words A farmer was sitting at the table while his wife was preparing dinner. His wife dropped a spoon and bent over to pick it up. As she bent over the farmer said, "Honey, your butt is as big as a combine."

The wife picks up the spoon and continues cooking with no comment to her husband. As she put the dinner on the table she dropped the pepper shaker on the floor. While she was bent over picking it up the farmer said, "Honey I take that back. Your butt is as big as two combines!"
Posted by JokeCrazy on Sunday, September 29 @ 02:54:14 CDT (8802 reads)
(Read More... | 976 bytes more | Score: 4.96)

Mother Truckers
Play On Words At a red light, a wedded couple were in danger of being cooked alive by the sonic energy of the sound waves from the radio in the car next to them.

That car was being driven by a couple of brothas who were, shall we say, "Rap-Enhanced." They were having a rather animated conversation with some otha brotha in the *next* car over to them.

Because of the volume of the radios involved, it was difficult to make out their conversations, but the wedded couple gathered each party was pleased to have truck driving moms as they talked incessantly about those motha truckas with each sentence.
Posted by JokeCrazy on Thursday, February 06 @ 00:05:00 CST (3408 reads)
(Read More... | 1870 bytes more | Score: 1)

There's No Place like Nome
Play On Words Flanman writes "Nome, in NW Alaska on the Bering Sea, is known for fabulous salmon fishing. But it is not well known that the milk from the indigenous Muskox, a large bison-like mammal with wool like sheep, makes equally fabulous butter. Milk from the female Muskox is churned in the Spring of each year and stored in casks in the cool waters of Nome River until Fall.

Melted and mixed with lemon juice, vinegar, seasoning, and egg yokes the result is a salmon sauce beyond comparison.

Families gather for feasting in November and December to relish the traditional salmon dinner topped with this unrivaled condiment."
Posted by JokeCrazy on Tuesday, October 14 @ 01:05:00 CDT (14060 reads)
(Read More... | 693 bytes more | Score: 4)

The Menopausal Years
Play On Words One thing that has not changed since the beginning of time, is how women react sexually to menopause. It can be extremely beneficial for you to know when your wife is entering her Menopausal years. A guide has been put together for you to help understand all the terms associated with Menopause in order you may prepare and diagnose the condition.

Hot Flashes ~ You come home from work one chilly day in December, and are greeted at the front door with your wife wearing nothing but a smile. You later find out that all the widows have been welded open and that she has sold your home heating system on e-bay.
Posted by JokeCrazy on Saturday, May 25 @ 01:08:52 CDT (13244 reads)
(Read More... | 3636 bytes more | Score: 4.33)

Same Thing
Play On Words Walking through San Francisco's Chinatown, a recent tourist from the Midwest was fascinated with all the Chinese restaurants, shops, signs and banners. One particular building, however, caught his eye with the sign "Moishe Plotnik's Chinese Laundry."

"Moishe Plotnik?" he wondered. "How does that fit in Chinatown?"

So he walked into the shop and saw a fairly standard looking Chinese laundry. He could see that the proprietors were clearly aware of the uniqueness of the name as there were baseball hats, T- Shirts and coffee mugs emblazoned with the logo "Moishe Plotnik's Chinese Laundry."

There was also a fair selection of Chinatown souvenirs, indicating that the name alone had brought many tourists into the shop. The tourist selected a coffee cup as a conversation piece to take back to his office.
Posted by JokeCrazy on Friday, December 19 @ 00:05:00 CST (11723 reads)
(Read More... | 1745 bytes more | Score: 4)

What's Your Wish?
Play On Words A man walked into a bar looking disappointed and carrying a black bag over one shoulder. He sat down at the bar just as the bartender walked up.

"What's in the bag?," asked the bartender.

The man put the bag on the bar, reached in and pulled out a miniature baby grand piano, a small bench, and a 12-inch-tall man wearing a top hat and a tux with tails.
Posted by JokeCrazy on Wednesday, December 05 @ 04:24:43 CST (2317 reads)
(Read More... | 1689 bytes more | Score: 3.5)

How babies are made
Play On Words A second grader came home from school and said to her mother, "Mom, guess what? We learned how to make babies today."

The mother, more than a little surprised, tried to keep her cool. "That's interesting," she said, "How do you make babies?"
Posted by JokeCrazy on Monday, November 12 @ 00:44:58 CST (2795 reads)
(Read More... | 336 bytes more | Score: 0)

Video store clerks hear new titles
Play On Words It seems that video store clerks hear a lot of weird titles for movies:
Posted by JokeCrazy on Wednesday, July 04 @ 04:45:47 CDT (2110 reads)
(Read More... | 939 bytes more | Score: 2)

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 Past Jokes
Monday, March 31
· Definitions of Words by Gender
Thursday, February 06
· Mother Truckers
Tuesday, December 24
· Anagrams
Sunday, September 29
· Combining Corn
Thursday, July 25
· Anybody know if Somebody found Nobody?
Friday, July 19
· Candy Coated
Friday, May 31
· If you have seen one
Saturday, May 25
· The Menopausal Years
Wednesday, May 01
· Damn Spam from Hell
Sunday, April 07
· Ode to the Spell Checker!

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