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Joke Crazy: Play On Words

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Same Thing
Play On Words Walking through San Francisco's Chinatown, a recent tourist from the Midwest was fascinated with all the Chinese restaurants, shops, signs and banners. One particular building, however, caught his eye with the sign "Moishe Plotnik's Chinese Laundry."

"Moishe Plotnik?" he wondered. "How does that fit in Chinatown?"

So he walked into the shop and saw a fairly standard looking Chinese laundry. He could see that the proprietors were clearly aware of the uniqueness of the name as there were baseball hats, T- Shirts and coffee mugs emblazoned with the logo "Moishe Plotnik's Chinese Laundry."

There was also a fair selection of Chinatown souvenirs, indicating that the name alone had brought many tourists into the shop. The tourist selected a coffee cup as a conversation piece to take back to his office.
Posted by JokeCrazy on Friday, December 19 @ 00:05:00 CST (11049 reads)
(Read More... | 1745 bytes more | Score: 4)

How babies are made
Play On Words A second grader came home from school and said to her mother, "Mom, guess what? We learned how to make babies today."

The mother, more than a little surprised, tried to keep her cool. "That's interesting," she said, "How do you make babies?"
Posted by JokeCrazy on Monday, November 12 @ 00:44:58 CST (2420 reads)
(Read More... | 336 bytes more | Score: 0)

What's Your Wish?
Play On Words A man walked into a bar looking disappointed and carrying a black bag over one shoulder. He sat down at the bar just as the bartender walked up.

"What's in the bag?," asked the bartender.

The man put the bag on the bar, reached in and pulled out a miniature baby grand piano, a small bench, and a 12-inch-tall man wearing a top hat and a tux with tails.
Posted by JokeCrazy on Wednesday, December 05 @ 04:24:43 CST (1970 reads)
(Read More... | 1689 bytes more | Score: 3.5)

There's No Place like Nome
Play On Words Flanman writes "Nome, in NW Alaska on the Bering Sea, is known for fabulous salmon fishing. But it is not well known that the milk from the indigenous Muskox, a large bison-like mammal with wool like sheep, makes equally fabulous butter. Milk from the female Muskox is churned in the Spring of each year and stored in casks in the cool waters of Nome River until Fall.

Melted and mixed with lemon juice, vinegar, seasoning, and egg yokes the result is a salmon sauce beyond comparison.

Families gather for feasting in November and December to relish the traditional salmon dinner topped with this unrivaled condiment."
Posted by JokeCrazy on Tuesday, October 14 @ 01:05:00 CDT (13104 reads)
(Read More... | 693 bytes more | Score: 4)

The Menopausal Years
Play On Words One thing that has not changed since the beginning of time, is how women react sexually to menopause. It can be extremely beneficial for you to know when your wife is entering her Menopausal years. A guide has been put together for you to help understand all the terms associated with Menopause in order you may prepare and diagnose the condition.

Hot Flashes ~ You come home from work one chilly day in December, and are greeted at the front door with your wife wearing nothing but a smile. You later find out that all the widows have been welded open and that she has sold your home heating system on e-bay.
Posted by JokeCrazy on Saturday, May 25 @ 01:08:52 CDT (11791 reads)
(Read More... | 3636 bytes more | Score: 4.33)

The Zen Master
Play On Words The Zen Master is visiting New York City from Tibet. He goes up to a hotdog vendor and says, "Make me one with
everything."

The hot dog vendor fixes a hot dog and hands it to the Zen Master, who pays with a $20 bill.

The vendor puts the bill in the cash box and closes it. "Where's my change?" asks the Zen Master.
Posted by JokeCrazy on Tuesday, June 17 @ 01:05:00 CDT (20840 reads)
(Read More... | 404 bytes more | Score: 3.6)

Anybody know if Somebody found Nobody?
Play On Words This is a story about four people named Everybody, Somebody, Anybody and Nobody.

There was an important job to be done and Everybody was sure that Somebody would do it.

Anybody could have done it, but Nobody did.
Posted by JokeCrazy on Thursday, July 25 @ 01:54:12 CDT (4804 reads)
(Read More... | 530 bytes more | Score: 4.5)

Barbeque Zone
Play On Words A couple had been married 15 years. One afternoon they were working in the garden together.

As the wife was bending over pulling weeds the husband said, "Hey honey, you are getting fat. Your butt is getting huge. I bet it's as big as the gas grill now."

The husband feeling he needed to prove his point, got a yardstick, measured the grill and then measured his wife's butt.
Posted by JokeCrazy on Tuesday, December 11 @ 00:27:14 CST (2322 reads)
(Read More... | 1050 bytes more | Score: 3)

If you have seen one
Play On Words A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt, and is named "Amal." The other goes to a family in Spain; they name him "Juan."

Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his mom. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Amal.
Posted by JokeCrazy on Friday, May 31 @ 01:45:23 CDT (4358 reads)
(Read More... | 432 bytes more | Score: 3.6)

Definitions of Words by Gender
Play On Words THINGY (thing-ee) n.
Female: Any part under a car's hood.
Male: The strap fastener on a woman's bra.

VULNERABLE (vul-ne-ra-bel) adj.
Female: Fully opening up one's self emotionally to another.
Male: Playing football without a helmet.

COMMUNICATION (ko-myoo-ni-kay-shon) n.
Female: The open sharing of thoughts and feelings with one's partner.
Male: Scratching out a note before suddenly taking off for a weekend with
the boys.
Posted by JokeCrazy on Monday, March 31 @ 00:05:00 CST (6179 reads)
(Read More... | 1659 bytes more | Score: 3.77)

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There isn't a Biggest Story for Today, yet.
 

 Past Jokes
Monday, March 31
· Definitions of Words by Gender
Thursday, February 06
· Mother Truckers
Tuesday, December 24
· Anagrams
Sunday, September 29
· Combining Corn
Thursday, July 25
· Anybody know if Somebody found Nobody?
Friday, July 19
· Candy Coated
Friday, May 31
· If you have seen one
Saturday, May 25
· The Menopausal Years
Wednesday, May 01
· Damn Spam from Hell
Sunday, April 07
· Ode to the Spell Checker!

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