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Joke Crazy: Religion Jokes

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No Rain no Gain
Religion Jokes One summer, a drought threatened the crop in a small town. On a hot and dry Sunday, the village parson told his congregation, "There isn't anything that will save us except to pray for rain. Go home, pray, believe, and come back next Sunday ready to thank God for sending rain."
Posted by JokeCrazy on Thursday, July 12 @ 23:53:31 CDT (1834 reads)
(Read More... | 642 bytes more | Score: 4)

Bless This Test
Religion Jokes It's bedtime, and a little girl is saying her prayers: "God bless Mommy and Daddy and me. And please make Madrid the capital of Australia."
Posted by JokeCrazy on Tuesday, November 11 @ 23:05:00 CST (7146 reads)
(Read More... | 310 bytes more | Score: 2.5)

Dentures to the Rescue
Religion Jokes Our local minister had all of his remaining teeth pulled and new dentures made a few weeks ago.

The first Sunday, his sermon lasted 10 minutes. The second Sunday, he preached only 20 minutes. But, on the third Sunday, he preached for an hour and a half.

I asked him about this. He then told me "well, John, that first Sunday, my gums were so sore it hurt to talk.
Posted by JokeCrazy on Sunday, September 08 @ 04:00:11 CDT (1902 reads)
(Read More... | 559 bytes more | Score: 3)

Hammer + Thumb = Trouble
Religion Jokes My minister was making a wooden trellis to support a climbing vine. As he was pounding away, he noticed that a little boy was watching him. The youngster didn't say a word, so the preacher kept on working, thinking the boy would leave.

However, the little boy he didn't leave. Pleased at the thought that his work was being admired, the pastor finally said, "Well, son, trying to pick up some pointers on gardening?"
Posted by JokeCrazy on Thursday, December 11 @ 23:05:00 CST (15514 reads)
(Read More... | 544 bytes more | Score: 4.75)

The Apple is Served
Religion Jokes A Rabbi who's been leading a congregation for many years is upset by the fact that he's never been able to eat pork. So he devises a plan whereby he flies to a remote tropical island and checks into a hotel.
Posted by JokeCrazy on Monday, June 04 @ 20:26:27 CDT (1510 reads)
(Read More... | 856 bytes more | Score: 0)

Signs on Church Property
Religion Jokes "No Lord -- No Peace. Know Lord -- Know Peace."

"Free Trip to heaven. Details Inside!"

"Try our Sundays. They are better than Baskin-Robbins."
Posted by JokeCrazy on Wednesday, April 18 @ 00:05:24 CDT (1802 reads)
(Read More... | 1497 bytes more | Score: 0)

The Power of Holy Water
Religion Jokes One morning a man came into the church on crutches. He stopped in front of the holy water, put some on both legs, and
then threw away his crutches.

An alter boy witnessed the scene and then ran into the rectory to tell the priest what he'd just seen.

"Son, you've just witnessed a miracle!" the priest said. "Tell me where is this man now?"
Posted by JokeCrazy on Sunday, April 13 @ 00:05:00 CDT (2329 reads)
(Read More... | 441 bytes more | Score: 2)

He-ing and She-ing
Religion Jokes The minister, all fired up because of recent obvious problems of infidelity, shouted out, "I want everyone who has been he-ing and she-ing to stand up!"

Half of his congregation stood up.

He then shouted out, "I want everyone who has been he-ing and he-ing to stand up!"
Posted by JokeCrazy on Thursday, March 28 @ 06:41:04 CST (1670 reads)
(Read More... | 983 bytes more | Score: 2)

LooK Upward For the Answer
Religion Jokes A temporary Sunday School teacher was struggling to open a combination lock on the supply cabinet.

She had been told the combination, but couldn't quite remember. Finally, she went to the pastor's study and asked for help.

The pastor came into the room and began to turn the dial. After the first two numbers he paused and stared blankly for a moment, and then he looked serenely heavenward and while his lips moved silently.

Suddenly he looked back at the lock and quickly turned to the final number, opening the lock.
Posted by JokeCrazy on Wednesday, December 03 @ 23:05:00 CST (11973 reads)
(Read More... | 743 bytes more | Score: 5)

And God Created Eve
Religion Jokes At Sunday School they were teaching how God created everything, including human beings.

Little Tommy, a child in the kindergarten class, seemed especially intent when they told him how Eve was created out of one of Adam's ribs.

Later in the week his mother noticed him lying down as though he were ill, and asked, "Tommy, what's the matter?"
Posted by JokeCrazy on Thursday, June 12 @ 00:05:00 CDT (2772 reads)
(Read More... | 458 bytes more | Score: 3.5)

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 Past Jokes
Wednesday, October 22
· Almighty God Tabernacle
Friday, October 10
· A Man of Few Words
Monday, September 29
· Spiritually Prepared
Saturday, September 27
· Running on Faith
Monday, August 04
· Chef Boy-Ar-Dee
Thursday, June 12
· And God Created Eve
Sunday, June 08
· The River of Reason
Wednesday, May 28
· Sex and Birth Control
Friday, April 25
· Hallelujah! Hallelujah!
Wednesday, April 16
· You Just Never Know

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