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Joke Crazy: Religion Jokes

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Pope Capper
Religion Jokes After getting all Pope John-Paul II's luggage loaded in the limo (and His Holiness doesn't travel light), the driver notices that the Pope is still standing on the curb. "Excuse me, Your Eminence." says the driver, "Would you please take your seat so we can leave?"

"Well, to tell you the truth," says the Pope, "They never let me drive at the Vatican, and I'd really like to drive today."

"I'm sorry but I cannot let you do that. I'd lose my job! And what if something should happen?" protests the driver, wishing he'd never gone to work that morning.
Posted by JokeCrazy on Friday, August 09 @ 02:04:31 CDT (1694 reads)
(Read More... | 1816 bytes more | Score: 4)

Hallelujah! Hallelujah!
Religion Jokes A boy was sitting on a park bench with one hand resting on an open Bible. He was loudly exclaiming his praise to God.
"Hallelujah! Hallelujah! God is great!" he yelled without worrying whether anyone heard him or not.

Shortly after, a man came along who had recently completed some studies at a local university. Feeling himself very enlightened in the ways of truth and very eager to show this enlightenment, he asked the boy about the source of his joy.

"Hey" asked the boy in return with a bright laugh, "Don't you have any idea what God is able to do? I just read that God opened up the waves of the Red Sea and led the whole nation of Israel right through the middle."
Posted by JokeCrazy on Friday, April 25 @ 00:05:00 CDT (3949 reads)
(Read More... | 1715 bytes more | Score: 3.25)

Spiritually Prepared
Religion Jokes Before performing a baptism, the priest approached the young father and said solemnly, "Baptism is a serious step. Are you prepared for it?"

"I think so," the man replied. "My wife has made appetizers and we have a caterer coming to provide plenty of cookies and cakes for all of our guests."

"I don't mean that," the priest responded. "I mean, are you prepared spiritually?"
Posted by JokeCrazy on Monday, September 29 @ 00:05:00 CDT (3468 reads)
(Read More... | 480 bytes more | Score: 4)

Bible Briefs
Religion Jokes Q. Who was the greatest financier in the Bible?
A. Noah; he was floating his stock while everyone else was liquidating.

Q. Who was the greatest female financier in the Bible?
A. That would be Pharaoh's daughter, who went down to the bank of the Nile and drew out a little prophet.
Posted by JokeCrazy on Saturday, April 13 @ 01:32:24 CDT (1860 reads)
(Read More... | 1274 bytes more | Score: 0)

Bless This Test
Religion Jokes It's bedtime, and a little girl is saying her prayers: "God bless Mommy and Daddy and me. And please make Madrid the capital of Australia."
Posted by JokeCrazy on Tuesday, November 11 @ 23:05:00 CST (7139 reads)
(Read More... | 310 bytes more | Score: 2.5)

Running on Faith
Religion Jokes A couple of nuns who were nursing sisters had gone out to the country to minister to an outpatient. On the way back they were a few miles from home when they ran out of gas. They were standing beside their car on the shoulder when a truck approached.

Seeing ladies of the cloth in distress, the driver stopped to offer his help. The nuns explained they needed some gas. The driver of the truck said he would gladly drain some from his tank, but he didnt have a bucket or can.

One of the nuns dug out a clean bedpan and asked the driver if he could use it. He said yes, and proceeded to drain a couple of quarts of gas into the pan. He waved goodbye to the nuns and left.
Posted by JokeCrazy on Saturday, September 27 @ 00:05:00 CDT (6230 reads)
(Read More... | 950 bytes more | Score: 2.75)

The Apple is Served
Religion Jokes A Rabbi who's been leading a congregation for many years is upset by the fact that he's never been able to eat pork. So he devises a plan whereby he flies to a remote tropical island and checks into a hotel.
Posted by JokeCrazy on Monday, June 04 @ 20:26:27 CDT (1497 reads)
(Read More... | 856 bytes more | Score: 0)

Spread Your...Wings
Religion Jokes A lady approaches a priest and tells him, "Father, I have a problem. I have these two talking female parrots, but they only know how to say one thing."

"What do they say?" the priest inquired.

"They only know how to say, 'Hi, we're prostitutes. Do you want to have some fun?' "
Posted by JokeCrazy on Tuesday, January 29 @ 00:29:44 CST (2023 reads)
(Read More... | 1170 bytes more | Score: 3)

Football Fans vs. Nuns
Religion Jokes There were these three guys at a football game and it just so happened that they were sitting behind three nuns. They couldn't see really well over their habits, so one of the guys says, "Man, I wish I lived in Ohio, there's only 25 Catholics there." One of the other guys says, "Well, I wish I lived in Idaho because there is only 20 Catholics there." Then the last guy says, "Well, I wish I lived in Oregon there are only 15 Catholics there. Then one of the nuns turns around and says, "Why dont you go to hell -- there are no Catholics there!"
Posted by JokeCrazy on Saturday, April 10 @ 18:00:00 CDT (40494 reads)
(Read More... | Score: 3.8)

Bless the Kids
Religion Jokes A little boy: "Lord, if you can't make me a better boy, don't worry about it. I'm having a real good time like I am."

After the dedication of his baby brother in church, Jason sobbed all the way home in the back seat of the car. His father asked him three times what was wrong. Finally the Jason replied, "That preacher said he wanted us brought up in a Christian home, and I wanted to stay with you guys."

A mother had been teaching her three-year old daughter the Lord's Prayer. For several evenings at bedtime, she would repeat after her mom the lines from the prayer. Finally she decided to go solo. Mommy listened with pride as she carefully enunciated each word, right up to the end of the prayer: "Lead us not into temptation, but deliver us some E-mail. Amen."
Posted by JokeCrazy on Friday, January 23 @ 23:05:00 CST (58040 reads)
(Read More... | 1689 bytes more | Score: 4.09)

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 Past Jokes
Wednesday, October 22
· Almighty God Tabernacle
Friday, October 10
· A Man of Few Words
Monday, September 29
· Spiritually Prepared
Saturday, September 27
· Running on Faith
Monday, August 04
· Chef Boy-Ar-Dee
Thursday, June 12
· And God Created Eve
Sunday, June 08
· The River of Reason
Wednesday, May 28
· Sex and Birth Control
Friday, April 25
· Hallelujah! Hallelujah!
Wednesday, April 16
· You Just Never Know

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