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Joke Crazy: Bar/Drunk Jokes

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Beer Note!
Bar/Drunk Jokes A guy walks in a bar, and buys a huge beer. Then he sees someone he knows, and decides to go and say hi to them, but he does not want to drag his beer mug with him.
Posted by JokeCrazy on Sunday, June 03 @ 05:20:53 CDT (1725 reads)
(Read More... | 339 bytes more | Score: 4)

That Drinking Thing
Bar/Drunk Jokes The distressed-looking man had downed several drinks in rapid succession before the bartender asked him, "You trying to drown your sorrows, buddy?"

"You could say that," the guy replied.

"It usually doesn't work, you know."
Posted by JokeCrazy on Tuesday, July 01 @ 01:05:00 CDT (12252 reads)
(Read More... | 332 bytes more | Score: 1)

The poop scoop
Bar/Drunk Jokes An Irishman goes into a pub in London with a little man, 6 inches tall, in his shirt pocket. He says to the barman, "I'd like a pint of Guinness for meself and a thimble of Guinness for me friend."
Posted by JokeCrazy on Wednesday, June 27 @ 10:24:17 CDT (1920 reads)
(Read More... | 380 bytes more | Score: 0)

Too many bars
Bar/Drunk Jokes A drunk walks into a bar, sits down and demands a drink.

"Get out" says the bartender. "I don't serve drunks here".
Posted by JokeCrazy on Tuesday, August 07 @ 03:43:17 CDT (1765 reads)
(Read More... | 767 bytes more | Score: 5)

Cowhand Hangover
Bar/Drunk Jokes The cowhand got paid on Friday and immediately rode into town and proceeded to get thoroughly shitfaced.

A couple of pals decided to play a trick on him. They snuck out, turned his horse around, and went back to join the hapless for a few more rounds.

The next morning, when the alarm clock and a glass of cold water in the face failed to have the slightest effect, the cowhand's wife started shaking him by the shoulders and screaming, "Tex, get up! You have to hit the goddamn trail, you've got work to do."
Posted by JokeCrazy on Friday, March 29 @ 00:36:03 CST (4544 reads)
(Read More... | 918 bytes more | Score: 0)

Costume Party
Bar/Drunk Jokes Tiggs writes "An older man wearing a stovepipe hat, a waistcoat and a phoney beard sat down at a bar and ordered a drink. As the bartender set it down, he asked,

"Going to a party?"

"Yeah," the man answered, "I'm supposed to come dressed as my love life.""
Posted by JokeCrazy on Wednesday, February 19 @ 00:05:00 CST (6237 reads)
(Read More... | 401 bytes more | Score: 5)

Constipated Matrimony
Bar/Drunk Jokes Two drunks were sitting in a bar when one of them notices a beautiful woman sitting in the corner. One says to the other,
"Jeez, I'd really like to dance with that girl."

The other man replies, "Well go ahead and ask her, don't be a chicken shit."

So the man approaches the lovely woman and says, "Excuse me. Would you be so kind as to dance with me?"
Posted by JokeCrazy on Friday, April 05 @ 14:15:58 CST (5389 reads)
(Read More... | 769 bytes more | Score: 2.5)

The Beer Prayer
Bar/Drunk Jokes Our lager,

Which art in barrels,

Hallowed be Thy drink,
Posted by JokeCrazy on Friday, September 14 @ 01:46:00 CDT (2328 reads)
(Read More... | 631 bytes more | Score: 0)

Are you a real cowboy?
Bar/Drunk Jokes An old cowboy, dressed in a cowboy shirt, hat, jeans, spurs and chaps went to a bar, sat down, and ordered a drink.
Posted by JokeCrazy on Friday, May 25 @ 06:03:34 CDT (3380 reads)
(Read More... | 1036 bytes more | Score: 5)

Aussie Thinking
Bar/Drunk Jokes An Australian guy decides to travel around the Greek Islands. He walks into a bar and Jill (the Australian Barmaid) takes his order, Fosters, and notices his accent. Over the course of the night they get to know each other quite well. At the end of Jill's shift he asks her if she wants to come back to his place and have sex with him. Although she is attracted to him she says no.
He then offers to pay her $200 for sex. Jill is traveling the world and because she is short of funds she agrees.
Posted by JokeCrazy on Saturday, February 28 @ 00:05:00 CST (67012 reads)
(Read More... | 1620 bytes more | Score: 4.66)

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 Past Jokes
Friday, January 10
· Girls Night Out
Thursday, August 29
· The Floor Check
Wednesday, May 08
· Horsing around
Friday, April 05
· Constipated Matrimony
Friday, March 29
· Cowhand Hangover
Monday, March 18
· Place Your Bets
Sunday, February 03
· Finding Homebase
Thursday, January 10
· Blowing In The Wind
Friday, December 14
· Unexpected Results
Wednesday, November 28
· A New Miracle Substance?

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