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Joke Crazy: Medical Jokes

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Hot Chocolate and Viagra
Medical Jokes Little Johnny goes to visit his 85-year-old grandfather in the hospital. "How are you grandpa?" he asks.

"Feeling fine," says the old man.

"What's the food like?"

"Terrific, wonderful menus."

"And the nursing?"
Posted by JokeCrazy on Monday, June 03 @ 00:35:40 CDT (2222 reads)
(Read More... | 1094 bytes more | Score: 5)

Fast Food Thoughts
Medical Jokes Because of an ear infection, a family friend had to take Casey, her son, to visit the pediatrician.

She was impressed with the way the doctor directed his comments and questions to her son.

When he asked Casey, "Is there anything you are allergic to?" Casey nodded and whispered something in the doctor's ear.
Posted by JokeCrazy on Saturday, October 25 @ 00:05:00 CDT (13224 reads)
(Read More... | 765 bytes more | Score: 1.16)

One for you too
Medical Jokes A man comes home from work and finds his wife admiring her breasts in the mirror. He asks, "What are you doing?"

She replies, "I went to the doctor today, and he told me I have the breasts of a 25 year old."
Posted by JokeCrazy on Monday, May 06 @ 22:15:50 CDT (1812 reads)
(Read More... | 374 bytes more | Score: 0)

Learn To Write
Medical Jokes Did you hear about the doctor who wrote out a prescription in the usual doctor's fashion?

The patient used it for two years as a railroad pass.

Twice it got him into Radio City Music Hall, and once into Yankee Stadium.

It came in handy as a letter from his employer to the cashier to increase his salary.
Posted by JokeCrazy on Saturday, January 03 @ 23:05:00 CST (11473 reads)
(Read More... | 457 bytes more | Score: 1.8)

20/20
Medical Jokes A doctor was performing a complete physical, including the visual acuity test. He placed the patient twenty feet from
the chart and began.

"Cover your right eye with your hand," the doctor instructed the patient.

The patient read the 20/20 line perfectly.

"Now your left."
Posted by JokeCrazy on Thursday, December 25 @ 23:05:00 CST (11308 reads)
(Read More... | 613 bytes more | Score: 1)

Dog Gone Tired
Medical Jokes An exhausted looking man dragged himself in to the Doctor's office.

"Doctor, there are dogs all over my neighborhood. They bark all day and all night, and I can't get a wink of sleep."

"I have good news for you," the doctor answered, rummaging through a drawer full of sample medications.
Posted by JokeCrazy on Thursday, February 21 @ 03:12:22 CST (1750 reads)
(Read More... | 989 bytes more | Score: 0)

Profession Check
Medical Jokes An eminent heart specialist was at a glittering social function and was in animated conversations with a lovely young thing wearing a great deal of makeup and the barest minimum of clothing.

It was only a few minutes too late that the good doctor became aware that his wife, whom he thought was safely in the next room, was watching him with a steely glare.

Clearing his throat, the doctor said, "Ah, my dear, that young lady over there and I were just indulging in a purely professional consultation."
Posted by JokeCrazy on Wednesday, April 24 @ 00:12:04 CDT (1693 reads)
(Read More... | 629 bytes more | Score: 0)

Breast Cancer Self-Examination
Medical Jokes **BEEP**

You have reached the Breast Cancer Self-Examination Hotline.

Press one to continue.

(pause)
Posted by JokeCrazy on Sunday, May 11 @ 00:05:00 CDT (7567 reads)
(Read More... | 194 bytes more | Score: 1)

The Therapy Session
Medical Jokes A psychiatrist was conducting a group therapy session with three young mothers and their small children.

"You all have obsessions," he observed.

To the first mother, he said, "You are obsessed with eating. You've even named your daughter Candy."
Posted by JokeCrazy on Thursday, March 14 @ 23:25:28 CST (1715 reads)
(Read More... | 529 bytes more | Score: 0)

Three trips, one death
Medical Jokes A noted psychiatrist was a guest at a gathering, and his hostess naturally broached the subject in which he was most
at ease.

"Would you mind telling me, Doctor," she asked, "how you detect a mental deficiency in somebody who appears completely normal?"

"Nothing is easier," he replied. "You ask him a simple question which everyone should answer with no trouble. If he hesitates, that puts you on the track."
Posted by JokeCrazy on Friday, January 09 @ 23:05:00 CST (37040 reads)
(Read More... | 784 bytes more | Score: 4.5)

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Sunday, June 29
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Tuesday, May 27
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Sunday, May 11
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Monday, April 21
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