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Joke Crazy: Computers/Support

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Lost in a Haze
Computers/Support A helicopter was flying around above Seattle yesterday when an electrical malfunction disabled all of the aircraft's electronic navigation and communications equipment.

Due to the clouds and haze, the pilot could not determine the helicopter's position and course to steer to the airport.
Posted by JokeCrazy on Saturday, November 03 @ 00:43:00 CST (5579 reads)
(Read More... | 1152 bytes more | Score: 2)

Home of the Whopper
Computers/Support A link on MSNBC.COM explained why the "Hire The Mentally Handicapped Program" has taken on such a foothold at
Burger King - Home of the Whopper. The King has teamed up with . . . sigh . . . AOL.

Holy shit. Can you just see it now?

"Hi, this is AOL / Time / Warner / Burger King, how can I help you?"
Posted by JokeCrazy on Wednesday, May 21 @ 01:05:00 CDT (6928 reads)
(Read More... | 1367 bytes more | Score: 0)

Mr. or Mrs. Computer
Computers/Support Is your computer male or female? As you are aware, ships have long been characterized as being female (e.g., "Steady as she goes", or "She's listing to starboard, Captain!"). Recently, a group of computer scientists (all males) announced that computers should also be referred to as being female. Their reasons for drawing this conclusion follow
Posted by JokeCrazy on Wednesday, April 07 @ 14:40:00 CDT (29937 reads)
(Read More... | 1697 bytes more | Score: 4.5)

New Software Bundle
Computers/Support T-shirt seen recently:

"FAILURE IS NOT AN OPTION. It comes bundled with Microsoft software."
Posted by JokeCrazy on Monday, April 30 @ 01:16:09 CDT (3604 reads)
(Read More... | Score: 5)

Five Reasons Computers are Female
Computers/Support 1. No one but the Creator understands their internal logic.

2. The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else.

3. The message "Bad command or file name" is about as informative as, "If you don't know why I'm mad at you, then I'm certainly not going to tell you."

4. Even your smallest mistakes are stored in long-term memory for later retrieval.
Posted by JokeCrazy on Wednesday, March 17 @ 00:05:00 CST (79603 reads)
(Read More... | 557 bytes more | Score: 4.33)

Wife 1.0
Computers/Support A software engineer wrote:

Subject: Failed Upgrade
Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 and noticed that the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of space and valuable resources. No mention of this phenomenon was included in the product brochure.
Posted by JokeCrazy on Wednesday, August 15 @ 01:50:57 CDT (35828 reads)
(Read More... | 3019 bytes more | Score: 4.65)

The Joy of Windows
Computers/Support Bill Gates approached a customer and said, "Excuse me. If I made a version of Windows which only crashed once a year, would you buy it?"

The customer's eyes glistened: "Oh, would I!"
Posted by JokeCrazy on Thursday, September 13 @ 03:26:43 CDT (5896 reads)
(Read More... | 525 bytes more | Score: 0)

Microsoft tech drafted
Computers/Support One of Microsoft Network's finest support techs was drafted into the Army and sent to boot camp.

At the rifle range, he was given some instructions, handed a rifle, and a couple rounds of ammo. He loaded the rifle and fired several shots at the target which was fifty yards away.

The report came from the target area that all of his attempts had completely missed the target
Posted by JokeCrazy on Tuesday, April 06 @ 13:10:00 CDT (25900 reads)
(Read More... | 818 bytes more | Score: 3)

How to Truly Impress A Client
Computers/Support I was in the airport VIP lounge en route to Seattle a couple of weeks ago. While in there, I noticed Bill Gates sitting comfortably in the corner, enjoying a drink.
Posted by JokeCrazy on Saturday, June 23 @ 03:57:04 CDT (3018 reads)
(Read More... | 1188 bytes more | Score: 0)

Hi-Tech Pain
Computers/Support A man is waiting at Grand Central Station for his train that leaves at 6 p.m. Curious about the time, and having forgot his watch, he looks around for someone wearing a watch to ask the time. Soon he spots a guy carrying two suitcases and sporting this fabulous hi-tech watch, and decides to ask him for the time.
Posted by JokeCrazy on Friday, November 14 @ 00:05:00 CST (8351 reads)
(Read More... | 1352 bytes more | Score: 3)

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 Today's Big Joke
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 Past Jokes
Friday, November 14
· Hi-Tech Pain
Wednesday, July 30
· Dead Serious on Computer Viruses
Friday, June 20
· Computers vs Cars
Wednesday, May 21
· Home of the Whopper
Wednesday, February 05
· Check out AOL's New Offer
Saturday, November 03
· Lost in a Haze
Thursday, September 13
· The Joy of Windows
Sunday, September 02
· Tech support
Wednesday, August 15
· Wife 1.0
Saturday, June 23
· How to Truly Impress A Client

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