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Joke Crazy: Computers/Support

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Five Reasons Computers are Male
Computers/Support 1. They have a lot of data, but are still clueless.

2. They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time they ARE the problem.

3. As soon as you commit to one you realize that, if you had waited a little longer, you could have obtained a better model.

4. In order to get their attention, you have to turn them on.
Posted by JokeCrazy on Thursday, March 18 @ 00:05:00 CST (79729 reads)
(Read More... | 433 bytes more | Score: 4.25)

New Software Bundle
Computers/Support T-shirt seen recently:

"FAILURE IS NOT AN OPTION. It comes bundled with Microsoft software."
Posted by JokeCrazy on Monday, April 30 @ 01:16:09 CDT (3595 reads)
(Read More... | Score: 5)

If a Mac was a SEAL
Computers/Support The office Mac fan posted:

"Being a Mac user is like being a Navy SEAL: a small, elite group of people with access to the most sophisticated technology in the world, who everyone calls on to get the really tough jobs done quickly and efficiently."

The office PC disciple responded

"Being a Mac user *is* like being a SEAL: a shrinking, endangered group of animals that bark very loudly but are harmless, who are economically valued only when they are dead."
Posted by JokeCrazy on Thursday, February 12 @ 00:05:00 CST (22953 reads)
(Read More... | Score: 3.6)

Disk Failure
Computers/Support When I worked for a company that had a contract with 3M, 3M had asked me to write them a memo describing why we were having problems with diskette failures.

I said in the memo that the disks were failing due to head crashes. "If the customers would just clean their heads periodically, we wouldn't have these problems," I said in the memo.
Posted by JokeCrazy on Saturday, March 27 @ 00:05:00 CST (123277 reads)
(Read More... | 423 bytes more | Score: 2)

How to Truly Impress A Client
Computers/Support I was in the airport VIP lounge en route to Seattle a couple of weeks ago. While in there, I noticed Bill Gates sitting comfortably in the corner, enjoying a drink.
Posted by JokeCrazy on Saturday, June 23 @ 03:57:04 CDT (2999 reads)
(Read More... | 1188 bytes more | Score: 0)

Hi-Tech Pain
Computers/Support A man is waiting at Grand Central Station for his train that leaves at 6 p.m. Curious about the time, and having forgot his watch, he looks around for someone wearing a watch to ask the time. Soon he spots a guy carrying two suitcases and sporting this fabulous hi-tech watch, and decides to ask him for the time.
Posted by JokeCrazy on Friday, November 14 @ 00:05:00 CST (8330 reads)
(Read More... | 1352 bytes more | Score: 3)

Home of the Whopper
Computers/Support A link on MSNBC.COM explained why the "Hire The Mentally Handicapped Program" has taken on such a foothold at
Burger King - Home of the Whopper. The King has teamed up with . . . sigh . . . AOL.

Holy shit. Can you just see it now?

"Hi, this is AOL / Time / Warner / Burger King, how can I help you?"
Posted by JokeCrazy on Wednesday, May 21 @ 01:05:00 CDT (6895 reads)
(Read More... | 1367 bytes more | Score: 0)

History of the Internet
Computers/Support In ancient Israel, it came to pass that a trader by the name of Abraham Com, did take unto himself a young wife by the name of Dot. And Dot Com was a homely woman, broad of shoulder and long of leg.

Indeed, she had been called Amazon Dot Com.
Posted by JokeCrazy on Monday, April 05 @ 16:30:37 CDT (28101 reads)
(Read More... | 2163 bytes more | Score: 3)

Five Reasons Computers are Female
Computers/Support 1. No one but the Creator understands their internal logic.

2. The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else.

3. The message "Bad command or file name" is about as informative as, "If you don't know why I'm mad at you, then I'm certainly not going to tell you."

4. Even your smallest mistakes are stored in long-term memory for later retrieval.
Posted by JokeCrazy on Wednesday, March 17 @ 00:05:00 CST (79577 reads)
(Read More... | 557 bytes more | Score: 4.33)

Daddy, how was I born?
Computers/Support A little boy goes to his father and asks "Daddy, how was I born?"

The father answers: "Well son, I guess one day you will need to find out anyway!

Your Mom and I first got together in a chat room on Yahoo.
Posted by JokeCrazy on Tuesday, April 20 @ 11:02:25 CDT (57689 reads)
(Read More... | 648 bytes more | Score: 3.57)

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 Past Jokes
Friday, November 14
· Hi-Tech Pain
Wednesday, July 30
· Dead Serious on Computer Viruses
Friday, June 20
· Computers vs Cars
Wednesday, May 21
· Home of the Whopper
Wednesday, February 05
· Check out AOL's New Offer
Saturday, November 03
· Lost in a Haze
Thursday, September 13
· The Joy of Windows
Sunday, September 02
· Tech support
Wednesday, August 15
· Wife 1.0
Saturday, June 23
· How to Truly Impress A Client

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