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Lawyer Jokes
[ Lawyer Jokes ]

·Locked for a Reason
·First The Car, Than The Watch
·Do You Take This...
·The Bill Collector
·The Lawyer and a Bible
·Phone Bugs
·Its Over When I Say Its Over
·Maple Leaf
·The Lawyer and the Investment Banker


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Joke Crazy: Lawyer Jokes

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Johnny appears as a witness
Lawyer Jokes Johnny appeared as a witness in a lawsuit. The attorney asked, "Where were you on the night of July 10?"
Posted by JokeCrazy on Wednesday, July 11 @ 01:13:00 CDT (2630 reads)
(Read More... | 703 bytes more | Score: 0)

The other good guy
Lawyer Jokes The lady lawyer approached the jury box and began an eloquent plea for her client: "Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I want to tell you about this man. There's so much to say that is good: he never beat his mother; he was always kind to little children; he never did a dishonest thing in his life; he has always lived by the golden rule; he is a model of everything decent, forthright, and honest. Everyone loves him and. . . "
Posted by JokeCrazy on Friday, September 21 @ 03:01:55 CDT (2638 reads)
(Read More... | 584 bytes more | Score: 0)

Postmortem Planning
Lawyer Jokes A dying man gathered his lawyer, doctor and clergyman at his bedside and handed each of them an envelope containing $25,000 in cash. He made them each promise that after his death and during his repose, they would place the three envelopes in his coffin. He told them that he wanted to have enough money to enjoy the next life.
Posted by JokeCrazy on Sunday, April 22 @ 01:27:00 CDT (3047 reads)
(Read More... | 1560 bytes more | Score: 0)

First The Car, Than The Watch
Lawyer Jokes A lawyer was getting out of his BMW, when suddenly a car came along and hit the door, completely ripping it off. When the police arrived at the scene, the lawyer was complaining bitterly about the damage to his precious BMW. "Officer, look what they've done to my Beemer!" he whined.

"You lawyers make me sick!" replied the disgusted officer. "You're so worried about your BMW, that you didn't even notice that your left arm was ripped off!"
Posted by JokeCrazy on Saturday, November 22 @ 00:05:00 CST (10501 reads)
(Read More... | 575 bytes more | Score: 5)

Lawyer for hire...
Lawyer Jokes A man walked into a lawyer's office and inquired about the lawyer's rates. $50.00 for three questions", replied the lawyer. "Isn't that awfully steep?" asked the man.
Posted by JokeCrazy on Tuesday, June 26 @ 02:17:11 CDT (2884 reads)
(Read More... | 229 bytes more | Score: 0)

The Lawyer and the Investment Banker
Lawyer Jokes A lawyer, a fervent Democrat dressed in casual clothes, sits down to have his lunch in a park across from his office.

Then he notices a very distinguished and dignified man sit down a few feet away on the grass; he is extremely well dressed in a tailored Hickey Freeman pinstriped suit, silk tie, starched white shirt, cuff links, tiepin, Rolex, highly polished black wingtips and silk socks. He places his expensive briefcase next to him and prepares for lunch.

“One of those Republicans, I’ll bet” thought the lawyer, and after introducing himself, he found out he is right – not only a Republican, but an investment banker. The lawyer glances at the banker’s shoes, glistening in the sunlight.
Posted by JokeCrazy on Wednesday, December 11 @ 00:05:00 CST (28389 reads)
(Read More... | 5408 bytes more | Score: 2.51)

If You Have Jury Duty This Week
Lawyer Jokes CLERK: Please repeat after me: "I swear by Almighty God..."
WITNESS: "I swear by Almighty God."
CLERK: "That the evidence that I give..."
WITNESS: That's right.
CLERK: Repeat it.
WITNESS: "Repeat it".
CLERK: No! Repeat what I said.
Posted by JokeCrazy on Friday, November 23 @ 22:10:46 CST (3278 reads)
(Read More... | 1807 bytes more | Score: 1)

Terrorists hijack a plane full of lawyers.
Lawyer Jokes Terrorists hijack a plane full of lawyers.
Posted by JokeCrazy on Wednesday, April 11 @ 01:54:03 CDT (1891 reads)
(Read More... | 163 bytes more | Score: 0)

Closing Evidence
Lawyer Jokes A defendant was on trial for murder. There was strong evidence indicating guilt, but there was no corpse. In the defense's closing statement the lawyer, knowing that his client would probably be convicted, resorted to a trick.
Posted by JokeCrazy on Thursday, April 19 @ 03:33:06 CDT (1760 reads)
(Read More... | 1191 bytes more | Score: 0)

Its Over When I Say Its Over
Lawyer Jokes A secretary came in late for work the third day in a row.

Her boss called her into his office and said, "Now look Sharon, I know we had a wild fling for a while, but that's over.

I expect you to conduct yourself like any other employee around here.
Posted by JokeCrazy on Wednesday, March 12 @ 00:05:00 CST (12298 reads)
(Read More... | 437 bytes more | Score: 4)

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 Today's Big Joke
There isn't a Biggest Story for Today, yet.

 Past Jokes
Wednesday, January 16
· Time Sharing
Monday, January 07
· Is that Three?
Tuesday, January 01
· Legal Butchering
Sunday, December 09
· True Hero
Friday, November 23
· If You Have Jury Duty This Week
Friday, September 21
· The other good guy
Wednesday, July 11
· Johnny appears as a witness
Saturday, July 07
· Typical Laywer
Tuesday, June 26
· Lawyer for hire...
Sunday, April 22
· Postmortem Planning

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