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Joke Crazy: Lawyer Jokes

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Locked for a Reason
Lawyer Jokes A defense attorney is cross-examining a police officer during trial...

ATTORNEY: Officer, did you see my client fleeing the scene?

OFFICER: No sir, but I subsequently observed a person matching the description of the offender running several
blocks away.

ATTORNEY: Officer, who provided this description?

OFFICER: The officer who responded to the scene.
Posted by JokeCrazy on Sunday, January 11 @ 23:05:00 CST (33263 reads)
(Read More... | 1378 bytes more | Score: 3.5)

First The Car, Than The Watch
Lawyer Jokes A lawyer was getting out of his BMW, when suddenly a car came along and hit the door, completely ripping it off. When the police arrived at the scene, the lawyer was complaining bitterly about the damage to his precious BMW. "Officer, look what they've done to my Beemer!" he whined.

"You lawyers make me sick!" replied the disgusted officer. "You're so worried about your BMW, that you didn't even notice that your left arm was ripped off!"
Posted by JokeCrazy on Friday, November 21 @ 23:05:00 CST (10491 reads)
(Read More... | 575 bytes more | Score: 5)

Its Over When I Say Its Over
Lawyer Jokes A secretary came in late for work the third day in a row.

Her boss called her into his office and said, "Now look Sharon, I know we had a wild fling for a while, but that's over.

I expect you to conduct yourself like any other employee around here.
Posted by JokeCrazy on Tuesday, March 11 @ 23:05:00 CST (12267 reads)
(Read More... | 437 bytes more | Score: 4)

Lawyer for hire...
Lawyer Jokes A man walked into a lawyer's office and inquired about the lawyer's rates. $50.00 for three questions", replied the lawyer. "Isn't that awfully steep?" asked the man.
Posted by JokeCrazy on Tuesday, June 26 @ 01:17:11 CDT (2878 reads)
(Read More... | 229 bytes more | Score: 0)

Johnny appears as a witness
Lawyer Jokes Johnny appeared as a witness in a lawsuit. The attorney asked, "Where were you on the night of July 10?"
Posted by JokeCrazy on Wednesday, July 11 @ 00:13:00 CDT (2618 reads)
(Read More... | 703 bytes more | Score: 0)

Time Sharing
Lawyer Jokes A young lawyer, starting up his private practice, was very anxious to impress potential clients. When he saw the first visitor to his office come through the door, he immediately picked up the phone and spoke into it.

"I'm sorry, but my caseload is so tremendous that I'm not going to be able to look into your problem for at least a month. I'll have to get back to you then."
Posted by JokeCrazy on Tuesday, January 15 @ 23:54:56 CST (3207 reads)
(Read More... | 566 bytes more | Score: 5)

Is that Three?
Lawyer Jokes A man walked into a lawyer's office and asked him what his rates were. "$50 for three questions," the lawyer replied.

"Isn't that awfully steep?" asked the man.
Posted by JokeCrazy on Sunday, January 06 @ 23:30:06 CST (2985 reads)
(Read More... | 250 bytes more | Score: 0)

The other good guy
Lawyer Jokes The lady lawyer approached the jury box and began an eloquent plea for her client: "Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I want to tell you about this man. There's so much to say that is good: he never beat his mother; he was always kind to little children; he never did a dishonest thing in his life; he has always lived by the golden rule; he is a model of everything decent, forthright, and honest. Everyone loves him and. . . "
Posted by JokeCrazy on Friday, September 21 @ 02:01:55 CDT (2624 reads)
(Read More... | 584 bytes more | Score: 0)

Legal Butchering
Lawyer Jokes A dog ran into a butcher shop and grabbed a roast off the counter. Fortunately, the butcher recognized the dog as belonging to a neighbor of his. The neighbor happened to be a lawyer.

Incensed at the theft, the butcher called up his neighbor and said, "Hey, if your dog stole a roast from my butcher shop, would you be liable for the cost of the meat?
Posted by JokeCrazy on Tuesday, January 01 @ 00:12:40 CST (3088 reads)
(Read More... | 627 bytes more | Score: 0)

Phone Bugs
Lawyer Jokes A guy phones a law office and says: "I want to speak to my lawyer." The receptionist replies, "I'm sorry but he died last week."

The next day he phones again and asks the same question. The receptionist replies, "I told you yesterday, he died last week."

The next day the guy calls again and asks to speak to his lawyer. By this time the receptionist is getting a little annoyed and says, "I keep telling you that your lawyer died last week. Why do you keep calling?"
Posted by JokeCrazy on Monday, August 25 @ 00:05:00 CDT (11866 reads)
(Read More... | 544 bytes more | Score: 2)

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What are your favorite type of Jokes?

Play on Words
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 Today's Big Joke
There isn't a Biggest Story for Today, yet.

 Past Jokes
Wednesday, January 16
· Time Sharing
Monday, January 07
· Is that Three?
Tuesday, January 01
· Legal Butchering
Sunday, December 09
· True Hero
Friday, November 23
· If You Have Jury Duty This Week
Friday, September 21
· The other good guy
Wednesday, July 11
· Johnny appears as a witness
Saturday, July 07
· Typical Laywer
Tuesday, June 26
· Lawyer for hire...
Sunday, April 22
· Postmortem Planning

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