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Joke Crazy: People Jokes

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Driver Awarness
People Jokes My Name is John Doe..... Driving to the office this morning on the Interstate, I looked over my shoulder to the left and there was a woman in a brand new Mustang doing 65 miles per hour, with her face up next to her rear view mirror putting on her eyeliner!

I looked away for a couple seconds and when I looked back she was halfway over in my lane, still working on that damn makeup!!! It scared me so bad, I dropped my electric shaver, which knocked the Donut out of my other hand. In all the confusion of trying to straighten out the car using my knees against the steering wheel, it knocked my cell phone away from my ear which fell into the coffee between my legs, splashed and burned Big Jim and the Twins, ruined the damn phone and DISCONNECTED AN IMPORTANT CALL!
Posted by JokeCrazy on Wednesday, October 02 @ 03:20:09 CDT (1651 reads)
(Read More... | 807 bytes more | Score: 4)

Getting a Good Nights Sleep
People Jokes An elderly woman went into the doctor's office. When the doctor asked why she was there, she replied, "I'd like to have some birth control pills."

Taken aback, the doctor thought for a minute and then said, "Excuse me, Mrs. Smith, but you're 75 years old. What possible use could you have for birth control pills?"

The woman responded, "They help me sleep better."
Posted by JokeCrazy on Monday, September 08 @ 00:05:00 CDT (1894 reads)
(Read More... | 608 bytes more | Score: 0)

Little Worries
People Jokes Fresh out of business school, a young man answered a want ad for an accountant. Now he was being interviewed by a very nervous man who ran a small business that he had started himself.

"I need someone with an accounting degree," the man said. "But mainly, I'm looking for someone to do my worrying for me."

"Excuse me?" the accountant said.
Posted by JokeCrazy on Wednesday, August 14 @ 01:30:03 CDT (1544 reads)
(Read More... | 865 bytes more | Score: 0)

Filling out a questionnaire
People Jokes An Army private filling out a questionnaire for a correspondence course was stymied by the question, "How long has your present employer been in business?" He thought for a moment, then wrote, "Since 1776."
Posted by JokeCrazy on Friday, April 13 @ 00:17:51 CDT (3275 reads)
(Read More... | Score: 0)

A Fool And His Money...
People Jokes An old penny pincher had no friends. Just before he died he asked his doctor, lawyer, and pastor to gather around him at bedside.

"I have always heard that you can't take it with you. But I want to disprove that theory," he said. "I have $90,000 under my mattress, and when I die, just before they throw the dirt on me at my burial, I want you each to toss in an envelope with $30,000 within."

The three attended the funeral and each threw his envelope in the grave. On the way back from the cemetery, the pastor said, "I must confess. I needed $10,000 for my new church, so I only threw in $20,000."
Posted by JokeCrazy on Tuesday, November 25 @ 23:05:00 CST (1818 reads)
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That's one for Marriage
People Jokes A couple was celebrating their golden wedding anniversary.

Their domestic tranquillity had long been the talk of the town.
Posted by JokeCrazy on Wednesday, April 18 @ 00:05:24 CDT (1771 reads)
(Read More... | 960 bytes more | Score: 0)

Swindler on the Lose
People Jokes A newsboy was standing on the corner with a stack of papers, yelling, "Read all about it. Fifty people swindled! Fifty people swindled!"

Curious, a man walked over, bought a paper and checked the front page. Finding nothing, the man said, "There's nothing in here about fifty people being swindled."

The newsboy ignored him and went on, calling out, "Read all about it. Fifty-one people swindled!"
Posted by JokeCrazy on Tuesday, October 28 @ 23:05:00 CST (2361 reads)
(Read More... | Score: 3)

Different thoughts
People Jokes A girl and boy had been having a relationship for about four months and one Friday night after work they meet in a bar. They stay for a few drinks and then go on to get some food at a restaurant near their respective houses. They eat then go back to his house and she stays over.
Posted by JokeCrazy on Sunday, June 16 @ 03:11:01 CDT (1746 reads)
(Read More... | 1447 bytes more | Score: 2)

Yes and No Check
People Jokes Taking a seat in the classroom, Maxine (a freshman in college), braced herself for her last final examination of the year, which consisted only of Yes and No answers.

It was one class that Maxine had not adequately studied for, and now that she was staring at the questionnaire sheet she was beginning to feel quite overwhelmed with defeat. Then, in an instant moment of inspiration, she took a quarter out of her purse and began marking the answer sheet "Yes" for coin tosses resulting in heads and "No" for tails.
Posted by JokeCrazy on Saturday, April 26 @ 00:05:00 CDT (1979 reads)
(Read More... | 1033 bytes more | Score: 1.66)

Faithful Servant
People Jokes An English landowner and his Irish manservant ran into each other in Hell one day. "My lord," the Irishman exclaimed, "What are you doing here?"

The landowner sighed. "I'm here because I lied, cheated, and stole to pay the debts run up by that playboy son of mine. But you were a faithful, loyal servant. Why are you here?"

"For fathering that playboy son of yours," the Irishman replied.
Posted by JokeCrazy on Wednesday, March 24 @ 23:05:00 CST (125603 reads)
(Read More... | Score: 2.2)

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 Today's Big Joke
There isn't a Biggest Story for Today, yet.

 Past Jokes
Friday, March 12
· The Ten Commandments of Love
Friday, February 13
· Career Change
Wednesday, February 11
· Customer Appreciation
Monday, February 09
· Private Detectives
Sunday, February 08
· Contractors Years
Saturday, February 07
· Happy Hunting
Thursday, February 05
· Can You Hear Me Now
Wednesday, February 04
· Big Birthday Wish
Friday, January 30
· Contractor's Dream
Sunday, January 25
· Billy Bob's Blessings

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