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Medical Jokes
[ Medical Jokes ]

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Hallelujah! Hallelujah!
Religion Jokes A boy was sitting on a park bench with one hand resting on an open Bible. He was loudly exclaiming his praise to God.
"Hallelujah! Hallelujah! God is great!" he yelled without worrying whether anyone heard him or not.

Shortly after, a man came along who had recently completed some studies at a local university. Feeling himself very enlightened in the ways of truth and very eager to show this enlightenment, he asked the boy about the source of his joy.

"Hey" asked the boy in return with a bright laugh, "Don't you have any idea what God is able to do? I just read that God opened up the waves of the Red Sea and led the whole nation of Israel right through the middle."
Posted by JokeCrazy on Friday, April 25 @ 00:05:00 CDT (4012 reads)
(Read More... | 1715 bytes more | Score: 3.25)

Mirrored taste test
Teacher/Student A principal of a small middle school had a problem with a few of the older girls starting to use lipstick. When applying it in the bathroom they would then press their lips to the mirror and leave lip prints.

Before it got out of hand he thought of a way to stop it. He gathered all the girls together that wore lipstick and told them he wanted to meet with them in the ladies room at 2pm.

They gathered at 2pm and found the principal and the school custodian waiting for them.
Posted by JokeCrazy on Tuesday, April 30 @ 00:34:56 CDT (1693 reads)
(Read More... | 1071 bytes more | Score: 3)

Crack verses Smack
Heaven and Hell Little Johnny comes home from catholic school with a black eye. His father sees it and says, "Johnny, how many times do I have to tell you not to fight with the other boys?"

"But Dad, it wasn't my fault. We were all in church saying our prayers. We all stood up and my teacher in front of me had her dress in the crack of her butt. I reached over and pulled it out. That's when she hit me!"
Posted by JokeCrazy on Thursday, December 13 @ 00:44:46 CST (1698 reads)
(Read More... | 979 bytes more | Score: 0)

Stupid People at their Best
Strange but True They're everywhere. This one, according to New Haven Register, was observed in the Wallingford, CT post office:

A man walks into the Wallingford post office, says that he has just returned from vacation, and wants his mail. The clerk asks for ID. The man doesn't have any. The postal worker states that he needs to see some positive identification, and requests that the man return with ID. The man refuses. The clerk is adamant.
Posted by JokeCrazy on Tuesday, August 21 @ 00:27:45 CDT (3554 reads)
(Read More... | 1286 bytes more | Score: 1)

Avoiding the Draft
People Jokes Tiggs writes "Two military policemen were chasing a fleeing draftee from the base. The draftee ran into the courtyard of a convent. He saw a nun seated on a round bench beneath a tree, quietly reading a book.

He said to her, "Quick sister, please hide me I don't want to be drafted and the M.P.'s are chasing me!""
Posted by JokeCrazy on Friday, December 20 @ 23:05:00 CST (1496 reads)
(Read More... | 804 bytes more | Score: 4)

Hot Pepper
People Jokes On their anniversary night, Tom sat his wife down in the den with her favorite magazine, turned on the soft reading lamp, slipped off her shoes, patted and propped her feet and announced that he was preparing dinner all by himself.

"How romantic!" she thought.
Posted by JokeCrazy on Wednesday, November 05 @ 23:05:00 CST (1834 reads)
(Read More... | 783 bytes more | Score: 0)

Calcium help grow strong bones
Medical Jokes Researchers released a list of foods and activities to help combat osteoporosis, the dread disorder that leaches calcium from the bones as people age.
Posted by JokeCrazy on Sunday, April 15 @ 17:52:10 CDT (2539 reads)
(Read More... | 777 bytes more | Score: 3)

A Girls Best Friends
Adult Jokes After dinner and a movie, Carl drove his date to a quiet country road and made his move. When Mary responded enthusiastically to his kissing, he tried sliding his hand up her blouse. Suddenly, she jerked away, got out of the car is a hurry, and ran home. Later that night, she wrote in her diary, "A girl's best friends are her own two legs."

On their next date, Carl returned to the country road. As they were kissing passionately, Carl slid his hand up Mary's skirt. Once again, she pulled away, got out of the car, and hurried home. Later that night, she wrote in her diary, "I repeat, a girl's best friends are her own two legs."
Posted by JokeCrazy on Wednesday, May 29 @ 01:16:48 CDT (3128 reads)
(Read More... | 856 bytes more | Score: 4.5)

You Just Never Know
Religion Jokes John went on a vacation to the Middle East with most of his family, including his mother-in-law. During their vacation and while they were visiting Jerusalem, John's mother-in-law died.

With death certificate in hand, John went to the American Consulate to make arrangements to send the body back to the States for proper burial.

The Consul, after hearing of the death of the mother-in-law, told John that sending a body back to the States for burial is very, very expensive. It could cost as much as $5,000 he told John, and in most cases the persons responsible for the remains of their loved ones decide to bury the body in Israel, which would only cost $150.
Posted by JokeCrazy on Wednesday, April 16 @ 00:05:00 CDT (2766 reads)
(Read More... | 1176 bytes more | Score: 2.5)

Redneck family history
Redneck Jokes Many many years ago
When I was twenty three,
I got married to a widow
who was pretty as could be.

This widow had a grown-up daughter
Who had hair of red.
My father fell in love with her,
And soon the two were wed.

This made my dad my son-in-law
And changed my very life.
My daughter was my mother,
For she was my father's wife.
Posted by JokeCrazy on Saturday, August 16 @ 00:05:00 CDT (15282 reads)
(Read More... | 1474 bytes more | Score: 4.75)



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Saturday, April 10
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