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The teacher had given the class an assignment. He stresses the importance of this particular assignment, and that no
excuses will be accepted except illness (with a medical certificate) or a death in the immediate family (with a note from that member). A smart-ass student pipes up:
"What about extreme sexual exhaustion, sir?"
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Posted by JokeCrazy on Friday, April 26 @ 01:59:17 CDT (1840 reads)
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There was a black guy, and he was hip hopping down the street with his getto blaster and he saw a lamp. He picks it up and start to clean it by rubbing it and then this Genie appears.
The black guy says, "Gimme three wishes."
The Genie said, "OK, what are they and they shall be granted."
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A white man noticed the impressive length of the black man's penis at the adjacent urinal.
"Sure wish I had one like your's."
The black man replied "You can--just tie a string around it and hang weight on the end of the string. Put the weight down your pant leg, and you can have one like mine."
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Two robins were sitting in a tree. "I'm really hungry", said the first one.
"Me, too", said the second. "Let's fly down and find some lunch."
They flew to the ground and found a nice plot of plowed ground full of worms. They ate and ate and ate 'til they could eat no more. "I'm so full I don't think I can fly back up to the tree," said the first one.
"Me neither, let's just lay here and bask in the warm sun", said the second.
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Posted by JokeCrazy on Monday, September 09 @ 01:05:00 CDT (2104 reads)
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Q] What's Blonde, Brunette, Blonde, Brunette, Blonde, Brunette, Blonde, Brunette.
A] A Blonde doing cart wheels.
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Clinton on foreign affairs
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When Clinton was asked what he thought about foreign affairs, he replied, "I don't know. I never had one."
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A few years ago the battery in my beat-up VW Beetle had died because I left the lights on overnight. I was in a hurry to get to work on time so I ran into the house to get my wife to give me a hand to start the
car. I told her to get into our second car, a prehistoric oversized gas guzzler, and use it to push my car fast enough to start it. I pointed out to her that because the VW had an automatic transmission, it needed to be pushed at least 20 mph for it to start.
She said fine, hopped into her car and drove off.
I sat there fuming wondering what she could be doing.
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Posted by JokeCrazy on Saturday, October 19 @ 23:03:53 CDT (1138 reads)
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A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day. A small rabbit saw the crow, and asked him, "Can I also sit like you and do nothing all day long?"
The crow answered: "Sure, why not." So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the crow and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit, and ate it.
The moral of this story is simple: to be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.
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There was once a snail that was sick and tired of his reputation for being so slow. He decided to get some fast wheels to make up the difference.
After shopping around a while, he decided that the Datson 240-Z was the car to get. So the snail goes to the nearest Datsun dealer and says he wants to buy the 240-Z, but he wants it repainted "240-S".
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Posted by JokeCrazy on Wednesday, September 12 @ 01:30:14 CDT (2655 reads)
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Three buddies decided to take their wives on vacation for a week in Las Vegas. The week flew by and they all had a great time. After they returned home and the men went back to work, they sat around at break and discussed their vacation.
The first guy says, "I don't think I'll ever do that again! Ever since we got back, my wife flings her arms and hollers, '7 come 11' all night and I haven't had a wink of sleep!"
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Posted by JokeCrazy on Monday, February 04 @ 00:43:58 CST (2038 reads)
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There isn't a Biggest Story for Today, yet. |
| Saturday, April 10 | | · | Football Fans vs. Nuns |
| Friday, April 09 | | · | Diver Meets Guy Underwater |
| Thursday, April 08 | | · | Oops! |
| Wednesday, April 07 | | · | Mr. or Mrs. Computer |
| Tuesday, April 06 | | · | Microsoft tech drafted |
| Monday, April 05 | | · | History of the Internet |
| Sunday, April 04 | | · | Octopus in the bar |
| Saturday, April 03 | | · | Baby Turtle |
| Friday, April 02 | | · | Sweet Tooth |
| Thursday, April 01 | | · | Defensive Driving |
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