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 Joke Books


A Fool And His Money...
People Jokes An old penny pincher had no friends. Just before he died he asked his doctor, lawyer, and pastor to gather around him at bedside.

"I have always heard that you can't take it with you. But I want to disprove that theory," he said. "I have $90,000 under my mattress, and when I die, just before they throw the dirt on me at my burial, I want you each to toss in an envelope with $30,000 within."

The three attended the funeral and each threw his envelope in the grave. On the way back from the cemetery, the pastor said, "I must confess. I needed $10,000 for my new church, so I only threw in $20,000."
Posted by JokeCrazy on Tuesday, November 25 @ 23:05:00 CST (1834 reads)
(Read More... | 1019 bytes more | Score: 0)

The Fishing Groom
Gross Jokes A man and his newlywed check into a mountain resort by a lake. The desk clerk notices the "Just Married" sign still on the car. As soon as the man gets the luggage out of the car, he hops in a boat to go fishing.
Posted by JokeCrazy on Saturday, May 19 @ 09:30:15 CDT (3573 reads)
(Read More... | 999 bytes more | Score: 4)

The Business Marriage
People Jokes A businessman was being interviewed about his life and career when the subject of his wife of thirty years came up.

"To what do you attribute the success of your marriage?" asked the interviewer.

"Well," replied the businessman, "You know that saying 'Behind every successful man there's a woman'?"
Posted by JokeCrazy on Tuesday, November 05 @ 23:05:00 CST (1683 reads)
(Read More... | 425 bytes more | Score: 4)

Hidden Surpises
Adult Jokes Jon was looking for a little "action." He picked up a sweet young thing at the bar and took her back to his hotel room. Little did he know that she was darn near a nymphomaniac.

After six times having sex, she was screaming for more. After the eighth time, Jon told her that he needed to slip out for a pack of cigarettes.
Posted by JokeCrazy on Wednesday, March 05 @ 23:05:00 CST (2338 reads)
(Read More... | 601 bytes more | Score: 1)

Students Hard at Work
Teacher/Student I recently came across this compilation of funny analogies presented by high school student's papers. Enjoy!

"He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking at high schools about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it."

"The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn't."
Posted by JokeCrazy on Saturday, January 10 @ 23:05:00 CST (34171 reads)
(Read More... | 1836 bytes more | Score: 5)

The Ten Commandments of Love
People Jokes I. I am thy Main Squeeze; thou shalt squeeze no others before me.

II. Thou shalt not take the name of thy Squeeze in vain, nor badmouth me behind my back.

III. Remember our Anniversary, and keep it holy. Or else.

IV. Honor MY mother and father. THINE are too darned weird.
Posted by JokeCrazy on Thursday, March 11 @ 23:05:00 CST (68351 reads)
(Read More... | 980 bytes more | Score: 2)

Cheaper Is Not Better
People Jokes On a cheerful summer holiday weekend a man walks into the butcher shop that has a sign in the window saying "Ground
Sirloin: 29 cents per pound."

"I'm having a cookout this weekend," the man says, "and I'd like 5 pounds of your ground sirloin, please."

The butcher shakes his head and says, "Sorry. I'm all out."

The disappointed man goes down the street to another butcher shop and asks, "How much is your ground sirloin?"
Posted by JokeCrazy on Tuesday, December 23 @ 23:05:00 CST (1733 reads)
(Read More... | 851 bytes more | Score: 0)

Adult - Adults Only!: The 3rd Dragon
Adult Jokes Three Asian maidens went into the pagoda to pray to Buddha. The first maiden lit a joss stick and prayed, "Oh Buddha send me a handsome Mandarin with a dragon on his chest."

The second maiden lit a joss stick and prayed, "Oh Buddha send me a handsome Mandarin with two dragons on his chest."
Posted by JokeCrazy on Friday, November 08 @ 23:05:00 CST (2527 reads)
(Read More... | 427 bytes more | Adult - Adults Only! | Score: 3)

Just a Little
Play On Words A huge muscular man walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender hands him the beer and says, "You know, I'm not gay but I want to compliment you on your physique, it really is phenomenal! I have a question though, why is your head so small?"

The big guy nods slowly. He's obviously fielded this question many times. "One day," he begins, "I was hunting when I got lost in the woods. I heard someone crying for help and finally realized that it was coming from a frog sitting next to a stream. So I picked up the frog and it said, "Kiss me. Kiss me and I will turn into a genie and grant you 3 wishes." So I looked around to make sure I was alone and gave the frog a kiss.

POOF! The frog turned into a beautiful, voluptuous, naked woman.
Posted by JokeCrazy on Friday, September 05 @ 00:05:00 CDT (11185 reads)
(Read More... | 1499 bytes more | Score: 5)

Dogs and the Death Penalty
Animal Jokes Three dogs were sitting in the waiting room at the veterinarian's. One of the dogs was hanging its head and sighing.

The second dog turned to him and asked, "What are you in here for, buddy?"

The dog looked depressed. "I'm in big trouble," he said. "My owner has a really nice sports car with leather seats. I just love to go for rides in it. Well, the other day, he took me for a ride and I was so excited, I peed on the nice leather seat. Now he's having me put to sleep."
Posted by JokeCrazy on Sunday, March 02 @ 23:05:00 CST (1998 reads)
(Read More... | 1310 bytes more | Score: 4.5)

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What are your favorite type of Jokes?

Play on Words
Teacher / Student


Votes: 3747
Comments: 9

 Today's Big Joke
There isn't a Biggest Story for Today, yet.

 Past Jokes
Saturday, April 10
· Football Fans vs. Nuns
Friday, April 09
· Diver Meets Guy Underwater
Thursday, April 08
· Oops!
Wednesday, April 07
· Mr. or Mrs. Computer
Tuesday, April 06
· Microsoft tech drafted
Monday, April 05
· History of the Internet
Sunday, April 04
· Octopus in the bar
Saturday, April 03
· Baby Turtle
Friday, April 02
· Sweet Tooth
Thursday, April 01
· Defensive Driving

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