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Animal Jokes
[ Animal Jokes ]

·Octopus in the bar
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 Joke Books


Mowing the lawn pays off
People Jokes Carl Rowen, the black reporter and columnist, tells about when he moved into an affluent white neighborhood years ago.
Posted by JokeCrazy on Saturday, April 14 @ 00:20:32 CDT (1814 reads)
(Read More... | 505 bytes more | Score: 2.66)

Your Mama's Feet Stink so Bad
Yo Mama... funny74 writes "She stepped in a cow turd and made the turd throw up!"
Posted by JokeCrazy on Sunday, February 22 @ 23:05:00 CST (63013 reads)
(Read More... | Score: 3)

Hilton Hits Back
People Jokes When John returned to the house one evening, his wife Julie announced that the new cleaning woman they had hired had stolen two towels.

"Yeah," said John, very disinterested, as he reclined on the sofa. "That wasn't very nice of her to do."

"You're exactly right it wasn't," Julie replied.
Posted by JokeCrazy on Sunday, November 16 @ 23:05:00 CST (1527 reads)
(Read More... | 446 bytes more | Score: 0)

Future Father-in-law.
People Jokes Dear Billybob

I have been unable to sleep since I broke off your engagement to my daughter. Would you be able to forgive me?

I was much too sensitive about your Mohawk, tattoo and pierced nose. I now realize motorcycles aren't really that dangerous, and I should not have reacted the way I did to the fact you have never held a job.

I am also very sure that there are other very nice people who live under the bridge in the park. Sure, my daughter is only 18 and wants to marry you instead of going to Harvard on full scholarship. But after all, you can't learn everything about life from books.
Posted by JokeCrazy on Tuesday, October 07 @ 00:05:00 CDT (2953 reads)
(Read More... | 910 bytes more | Score: 3.2)

Dogs and the Death Penalty
Animal Jokes Three dogs were sitting in the waiting room at the veterinarian's. One of the dogs was hanging its head and sighing.

The second dog turned to him and asked, "What are you in here for, buddy?"

The dog looked depressed. "I'm in big trouble," he said. "My owner has a really nice sports car with leather seats. I just love to go for rides in it. Well, the other day, he took me for a ride and I was so excited, I peed on the nice leather seat. Now he's having me put to sleep."
Posted by JokeCrazy on Sunday, March 02 @ 23:05:00 CST (1923 reads)
(Read More... | 1310 bytes more | Score: 4.5)

Down and Out
People Jokes Two old friends bumped into one another on the street one day. One of them looked forlorn, almost on the verge of tears. His friend asked, "What has happened to you, my old friend?" The sad fellow said, "Let me tell you. Three weeks ago, an uncle died and left me forty thousand dollars."

"That's a lot of money."

"But you see, two weeks ago, a cousin I never even knew died, and left me eighty-five thousand free and clear."
Posted by JokeCrazy on Wednesday, September 17 @ 00:05:00 CDT (1835 reads)
(Read More... | 762 bytes more | Score: 4.5)

Dear Abby - Congratulations, you passed!
People Jokes Tiggs writes "Dear Abby:
I am a man and I have been engaged for almost a year. I am to be married next month. My fiancee's mother is not only very attractive but really great and understanding. She is putting the entire wedding together and invited me to her place to go over the invitation list because it had grown a bit beyond what we had expected it to be.

When I got to her place we reviewed the list and trimmed it down to just under a hundred ... then she floored me. She said that in a month would be a married man and that before that happened, she wanted to have s-e-x with me. Then she just stood up and walked to her bedroom and on her way said that I knew where the front door was if I wanted to leave. I stood there for about five minutes and finally decided that I knew exactly how to deal with this situation. I headed straight out the front door."
Posted by JokeCrazy on Sunday, December 22 @ 23:05:00 CST (1657 reads)
(Read More... | 1438 bytes more | Score: 3.75)

Medical Testing Woes
Medical Jokes Tiggs writes "Two children were in a doctor's waiting room. The little girl was softly sobbing.

"Why are you crying?" asked the little boy.

"I'm here for a blood test, and they're going to cut my finger," said the girl.

When he heard this, the little boy started to cry."
Posted by JokeCrazy on Thursday, December 12 @ 08:33:15 CST (1591 reads)
(Read More... | 430 bytes more | Score: 4)

Energizer Bunny has Passed Away
Adult Jokes A very sad event occurred last night: the Energizer Bunny, after going and going for so long has unfortunately passed away.

The official medical report states that Mr. Bunny died from a Heart Attack brought on by sexual over stimulation.

It seems that someone had put his batteries in backwards and he kept coming...and coming...and coming......
Posted by JokeCrazy on Thursday, May 22 @ 00:05:00 CDT (2448 reads)
(Read More... | Score: 0)

Lawyer for hire...
Lawyer Jokes A man walked into a lawyer's office and inquired about the lawyer's rates. $50.00 for three questions", replied the lawyer. "Isn't that awfully steep?" asked the man.
Posted by JokeCrazy on Tuesday, June 26 @ 01:17:11 CDT (2678 reads)
(Read More... | 229 bytes more | Score: 0)

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What are your favorite type of Jokes?

Play on Words
Teacher / Student


Votes: 3736
Comments: 9

 Today's Big Joke
There isn't a Biggest Story for Today, yet.

 Past Jokes
Saturday, April 10
· Football Fans vs. Nuns
Friday, April 09
· Diver Meets Guy Underwater
Thursday, April 08
· Oops!
Wednesday, April 07
· Mr. or Mrs. Computer
Tuesday, April 06
· Microsoft tech drafted
Monday, April 05
· History of the Internet
Sunday, April 04
· Octopus in the bar
Saturday, April 03
· Baby Turtle
Friday, April 02
· Sweet Tooth
Thursday, April 01
· Defensive Driving

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