Register to become a Member!   [ Login ] December 11th, 2017   



Games Games and More Games
23,000 Recipes Plus!
ipCheetah - Game IP Finder
FishingCanada Web Directory
Buy Domain Names
Firewall Forums - NEW
  Home ·  Joke Topics ·  Your Account ·  Submit Jokes ·  Top 20 Lists    
 Main Menu
· Home
· Crazy Hangman
· Feedback
· Joke Archive
· Joke Topics
· JokeCrazy Gallery
· Search JokeCrazy
· Submit Jokes
· Surveys
· Top Jokes
 

 Sponsor Links
 

 Search Box


 

 Random Jokes

All Other Jokes
[ All Other Jokes ]

·How to Tell If you Live in 2004
·High Morals
·Buzzing Baloney
·When the Chips are Down
·Land Sales Comparison
·Colonel Call in
·Tour Of Duty
·Lessons Learned the Hard Way
·The Best Way to Say It
 

 Sponsors
 

 Joke Books



 

The Dog/Woman Trilogy
Posted on Thursday, September 06 @ 03:00:39 CDT by JokeCrazy

Insults Galore HOW DOGS AND WOMEN ARE ALIKE

* Both look stupid in hats.

* Both can eat 5 pounds of chocolate in one sitting.

* Both tend to have -hip- problems.

* Neither understands football.

* Both look good in a fur coat.

* Both are good at pretending that they're listening to every word you say.

* Neither believes that silence is golden.

* Both constantly want back rubs.

* Neither can balance a checkbook.

* You can tell what either of them is thinking.

* Both put too much value on kissing.


WHY WOMEN ARE BETTER THAN DOGS

* It is socially acceptable to have sexual relations with women.

* Women look good in sweaters.

* Women leave the room to make a piggy.

* Though they only have two, women's breasts are far more interesting.


WHY DOGS ARE BETTER THAN WOMEN

* Dogs don't cry.

* Dogs love it when your friends come over.

* Dogs think you sing great.

* A dog's time in the bathroom is confined to a quick drink.

* Dogs don't expect you to call when you are running late.

* The later you are, the more excited dogs are to see you.

* Dogs will forgive you for playing with other dogs.

* Dogs don't notice if you call them by another dog's name.

* Dogs are excited by rough play.

* Dogs don't mind if you give their offspring away.

* Dogs understand that farts are funny.

* Dogs love red meat.

* Dogs can appreciate excessive body hair.

* Anyone can get a good-looking dog.

* Dogs like it when you leave lots of things on the floor.

* A dog's disposition stays the same all month long.

* Dogs never need to examine the relationship.

* Dogs love long car trips.

* Dogs understand that instincts are better than asking for directions.

* When a dog gets old and starts to snap at you incessantly, you can shoot it.

* Dogs like beer.

* It's legal to keep a dog chained up at your house.

* Dogs don't want to know about every other dog you ever had.

* Dogs like to do their snooping outside as opposed to in your wallet, desk, and the back of your sock drawer.

* Dogs don't let magazine articles guide their lives.

* Dogs never want foot-rubs.

* Dogs enjoy heavy petting in public.

* Dogs find you amusing when you're drunk.

* Dogs can't talk.

* Dogs seldom outlive you.

* Dogs would rather have you buy them a hamburger dinner than a lobster dinner.

* Dogs are ready to go 24 hours a day.


 
 Related Links
· More about Insults Galore
· News by JokeCrazy


Most read story about Insults Galore:
Sayings That Should Be On Bumper Stickers...

 

 Article Rating
Average Score: 4
Votes: 3


Please take a second and vote for this article:

Excellent
Very Good
Good
Regular
Bad

 

 Options

 Printer Friendly Printer Friendly

 


Rate this site!
Take me to CanadaSEEK.com!
All logos and trademarks in this site are property of their respective owner.
The comments are property of their posters, all the rest 2001 - 2006 by JokeCrazy.com
You can syndicate our news using the file backend.php or ultramode.txt

PHP-Nuke Copyright © 2004 by Francisco Burzi. This is free software, and you may redistribute it under the GPL.
PHP-Nuke comes with absolutely no warranty, for details, see the license.
Page Generation: 0.16 Seconds