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The Dog/Woman Trilogy
Posted on Thursday, September 06 @ 03:00:39 CDT by JokeCrazy


* Both look stupid in hats.

* Both can eat 5 pounds of chocolate in one sitting.

* Both tend to have -hip- problems.

* Neither understands football.

* Both look good in a fur coat.

* Both are good at pretending that they're listening to every word you say.

* Neither believes that silence is golden.

* Both constantly want back rubs.

* Neither can balance a checkbook.

* You can tell what either of them is thinking.

* Both put too much value on kissing.


* It is socially acceptable to have sexual relations with women.

* Women look good in sweaters.

* Women leave the room to make a piggy.

* Though they only have two, women's breasts are far more interesting.


* Dogs don't cry.

* Dogs love it when your friends come over.

* Dogs think you sing great.

* A dog's time in the bathroom is confined to a quick drink.

* Dogs don't expect you to call when you are running late.

* The later you are, the more excited dogs are to see you.

* Dogs will forgive you for playing with other dogs.

* Dogs don't notice if you call them by another dog's name.

* Dogs are excited by rough play.

* Dogs don't mind if you give their offspring away.

* Dogs understand that farts are funny.

* Dogs love red meat.

* Dogs can appreciate excessive body hair.

* Anyone can get a good-looking dog.

* Dogs like it when you leave lots of things on the floor.

* A dog's disposition stays the same all month long.

* Dogs never need to examine the relationship.

* Dogs love long car trips.

* Dogs understand that instincts are better than asking for directions.

* When a dog gets old and starts to snap at you incessantly, you can shoot it.

* Dogs like beer.

* It's legal to keep a dog chained up at your house.

* Dogs don't want to know about every other dog you ever had.

* Dogs like to do their snooping outside as opposed to in your wallet, desk, and the back of your sock drawer.

* Dogs don't let magazine articles guide their lives.

* Dogs never want foot-rubs.

* Dogs enjoy heavy petting in public.

* Dogs find you amusing when you're drunk.

* Dogs can't talk.

* Dogs seldom outlive you.

* Dogs would rather have you buy them a hamburger dinner than a lobster dinner.

* Dogs are ready to go 24 hours a day.

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