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Joke Crazy: Teacher/Student

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Guess The Fruit
Teacher/Student One day in class the teacher brought a bag full of fruit. She told the class, "I'm going to reach into the bag and describe a piece of fruit, and you tell what fruit I'm talking about."

"Okay, first: it's round, plump and red."
Posted by JokeCrazy on Wednesday, October 31 @ 23:22:28 CST (1577 reads)
(Read More... | 1507 bytes more | Score: 0)

Little Johnny in Sunday School
Teacher/Student Little April was not the best student in Sunday school. Usually she slept through the class. One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, "Tell me, April, who created the universe?" When April didn't stir, little Johnny, a boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear.

"GOD ALMIGHTY!" shouted April and the teacher said, "Very good" and April fell back asleep. A while later the teacher asked April, "Who is our Lord and Saviour," But, April didn't even stir from her slumber.

Once again, Johnny came to the rescue and stuck her again. "JESUS CHRIST!" shouted April and the teacher said, "Very good," and April fell back asleep.
Posted by JokeCrazy on Thursday, September 12 @ 00:05:00 CDT (3030 reads)
(Read More... | 1052 bytes more | Score: 5)

Eggplant
Teacher/Student A school teacher asks her class "What vegetable makes your eyes water?"

Little Johnny replies, "An eggplant."

"No, Johnny," says the teacher, "I believe you are thinking of an onion, aren't you?"

"No, ma'am," Says Johnny, "Have you never been hit in the balls with an eggplant?"
Posted by JokeCrazy on Sunday, March 21 @ 23:05:00 CST (78705 reads)
(Read More... | Score: 3.28)

Pop quiz
Teacher/Student The teacher decided to give a pop quiz on this week's spelling words. She asked the students to spell the words and use them in a sentence. Three of the words were hotel, stigma and homosexual.

Not surprisingly, little Johnny's answers were...

"h-o-t-e-l. The President asked Monica to keep their affair secret, but Linda Tripp made the ho tel..."
Posted by JokeCrazy on Monday, May 20 @ 00:27:02 CDT (1913 reads)
(Read More... | 709 bytes more | Score: 0)

Smart Ass
Teacher/Student "An abstract noun," the teacher said, "is something you can think of, but you can't touch it. Can you give me an example of one?"

"Sure," a teenage boy replied. "My father's new car."
Posted by JokeCrazy on Friday, January 02 @ 23:05:00 CST (13585 reads)
(Read More... | Score: 1.5)

Litle Johnny Paints by Hand
Teacher/Student Little Johnny was spending the weekend with his grandmother after a particularly trying week in kindergarten. His grandmother decided to take him to the park on Saturday morning. It had been snowing all night and everything was beautiful.

His grandmother remarked..."doesn't it look like an artist painted this scenery? Did you know God painted this just for you?"

Johnny said, "Yes, God did it and he did it left handed."
Posted by JokeCrazy on Wednesday, August 06 @ 00:05:00 CDT (4393 reads)
(Read More... | 673 bytes more | Score: 3.4)

One Good Thing
Teacher/Student A teacher was meeting with the father of one of her students...

Teacher: "Well, at least there's one thing I can say about your son."

Father: "What's that?"

Teacher: "With grades like these, he couldn't possibly be cheating."
Posted by JokeCrazy on Tuesday, September 16 @ 00:05:00 CDT (6168 reads)
(Read More... | Score: 0)

Answers From Students On Music Exams
Teacher/Student Refrain means don't do it. A refrain in music is the part you better not try to sing.

J. S. Bach died from 1750 to the present.

Handel was half German, half Italian, and half English. He was rather large.

Beethoven wrote music even through he was deaf. He was so deaf that he wrote loud music. He took long walks in the forest even when everyone was calling him. I guess he could not hear so good. Beethoven expired in 1827 and later died of this.
Posted by JokeCrazy on Tuesday, December 17 @ 23:05:00 CST (2774 reads)
(Read More... | 1234 bytes more | Score: 4.5)

History lesson on war
Teacher/Student The social studies teacher had just finished a unit on war and peace. "How many of you," he asked, "would say you're opposed to war?"

Not surprisingly, all hands went up. The teacher asked, "who'll give us the reason for being opposed to war?"

A large, bored-looking boy in the back of the room raised his hand.
Posted by JokeCrazy on Thursday, May 02 @ 02:38:22 CDT (1788 reads)
(Read More... | 475 bytes more | Score: 0)

The Period
Teacher/Student The kindergarten class had a homework assignment to find out about something exciting and relate it to the class the next day.

When the time came for the little kids to give their reports, the teacher was calling on them one at a time.
Posted by JokeCrazy on Friday, November 09 @ 03:41:58 CST (1518 reads)
(Read More... | 1049 bytes more | Score: 0)

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 Today's Big Joke
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 Past Jokes
Sunday, August 10
· The Drivers Seat
Wednesday, August 06
· Litle Johnny Paints by Hand
Tuesday, August 05
· Biology Weigh in
Thursday, July 31
· No One Knows what God Looks Like
Friday, July 25
· Bed Time Pit Stop
Sunday, July 20
· The Speed of It All
Tuesday, July 08
· Little Johnny Stirs up some Shit
Wednesday, July 02
· Little Johnny and The Question
Monday, June 23
· G-O-D Spells
Tuesday, June 03
· Little Johnny the Chemistry Major

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