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Joke Crazy: Animal Jokes

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Dog Gone and Back Again
Animal Jokes As he drove into a parking lot, John noticed that a pickup truck with a dog sitting behind the wheel was rolling toward a female pedestrian. The pedestrian seemed oblivious, so John hit his car horn to get her attention.

The pedestrian looked up just in time to jump out of the way of the truck's path, and the vehicle bumped harmlessly into the curb and stopped.
Posted by JokeCrazy on Sunday, October 26 @ 23:05:00 CST (11414 reads)
(Read More... | 548 bytes more | Score: 1)

The thinking fly...
Animal Jokes What is the last thing on a fly's mind when it hits a windshield at 80 miles an hour?
Posted by JokeCrazy on Wednesday, April 11 @ 13:28:47 CDT (1812 reads)
(Read More... | 97 bytes more | Score: 0)

Man's best friend
Animal Jokes For a holiday, an Irishman decided to go to Switzerland to fulfill a lifelong dream and climb the Matterhorn.
Posted by JokeCrazy on Friday, July 27 @ 00:33:38 CDT (1620 reads)
(Read More... | 495 bytes more | Score: 0)

Dogs and the Death Penalty
Animal Jokes Three dogs were sitting in the waiting room at the veterinarian's. One of the dogs was hanging its head and sighing.

The second dog turned to him and asked, "What are you in here for, buddy?"

The dog looked depressed. "I'm in big trouble," he said. "My owner has a really nice sports car with leather seats. I just love to go for rides in it. Well, the other day, he took me for a ride and I was so excited, I peed on the nice leather seat. Now he's having me put to sleep."
Posted by JokeCrazy on Sunday, March 02 @ 23:05:00 CST (2001 reads)
(Read More... | 1310 bytes more | Score: 4.5)

Parrot with Strings
Animal Jokes This lady was throwing a party and had this very vulgar parrot and she wanted to do something with it so she could make sure it would not embarass her.
Posted by JokeCrazy on Friday, May 04 @ 02:11:55 CDT (1373 reads)
(Read More... | 823 bytes more | Score: 0)

X-rated parrot
Animal Jokes A woman had a female parrot which kept saying, 'Hello, I am very horny. Do you want to have some fun?' She was frantic, so she went to her Pastor to find a solution to the problem. The Pastor said, 'Bring your bird to my house. I have two male parrots who read the bible and pray all the time.
Posted by JokeCrazy on Thursday, May 10 @ 01:14:46 CDT (1999 reads)
(Read More... | 617 bytes more | Score: 4.33)

High Jump
Animal Jokes Tired of having to stare at the luscious young kitten on the other side of the chain link fence, bold Tommy Tomcat decided to visit her one day.

Settling back on his haunches, he gave a mighty leap and landed on the other side; impressed, the lovely cat sauntered over.

"That was quite a leap," she remarked. "Want to go somewhere and cuddle?"
Posted by JokeCrazy on Thursday, May 29 @ 00:05:00 CDT (2445 reads)
(Read More... | 479 bytes more | Score: 3)

Language Lessons
Animal Jokes A woman goes into a store and buys a beautiful green and blue parrot. But the only words the parrot knows how to say are: "Who is it?"

She takes the parrot home, but soon realizes that the bird's color clashes with the living room. So she calls an Interior designer, who says he will come by shortly.
Posted by JokeCrazy on Thursday, January 31 @ 02:49:31 CST (1727 reads)
(Read More... | 1058 bytes more | Score: 0)

Farmer Gossman
Animal Jokes Farmer Gossman goes to the vet and says, "My horse is constipated."

The vet says, "Take one of these pills, put it in a long tube, stick the other end in the horse's rear, and blow the pill up there."

Farmer Gossman comes back the next day, and he looks very sick.
Posted by JokeCrazy on Friday, May 02 @ 00:05:00 CDT (1658 reads)
(Read More... | 386 bytes more | Score: 0)

Frog Loan
Animal Jokes Tiggs writes "A frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller, whose name is
Patricia Whack.

'Ms. Whack,' he says, 'I'd like to obtain a loan to buy a boat.'

Patti furrows her brow and asks, 'Well, how much do you want to borrow?'"
Posted by JokeCrazy on Saturday, March 01 @ 23:05:00 CST (4493 reads)
(Read More... | 1265 bytes more | Score: 3.8)

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Sunday, October 19
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