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Joke Crazy: Animal Jokes

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Language Lessons
Animal Jokes A woman goes into a store and buys a beautiful green and blue parrot. But the only words the parrot knows how to say are: "Who is it?"

She takes the parrot home, but soon realizes that the bird's color clashes with the living room. So she calls an Interior designer, who says he will come by shortly.
Posted by JokeCrazy on Thursday, January 31 @ 02:49:31 CST (1715 reads)
(Read More... | 1058 bytes more | Score: 0)

Three Dogs at the Vet
Animal Jokes Three dogs were sitting in the waiting room at the veterinarian's. One of the dogs was hanging its head and sighing. The second dog turned to him and asked "What are you in here for, buddy?" The dog looked depressed, "I'm in big trouble", he said, "My owner has a really nice sports car with leather seats. I just love to go for rides in it. Well, the other day, he took me for a ride and I was so excited, I peed on the nice leather seat. Now he's having me put to sleep."
Posted by JokeCrazy on Thursday, May 03 @ 00:00:17 CDT (2284 reads)
(Read More... | 1238 bytes more | Score: 2)

How to give a cat medication
Animal Jokes 1) Pick cat up and cradle it in the crook of your left arm as if holding a baby. Position right forefinger and thumb on either side of cat's mouth and gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill in right hand. As cat opens mouth, pop pill into mouth. Allow cat to close mouth and swallow.
Posted by JokeCrazy on Thursday, April 26 @ 00:08:05 CDT (2258 reads)
(Read More... | 3027 bytes more | Score: 5)

Full Zoo Tour
Animal Jokes Q: What's the difference between a normal zoo and a Cajun zoo?

A: In a normal zoo, you have a plaque next to the cage, with the animal's common name and Latin name.

In a Cajun zoo, you have a plaque next to the cage, with the animal's common name, it's Latin name, and the recipe for how to cook it.
Posted by JokeCrazy on Saturday, June 14 @ 00:00:00 CDT (1540 reads)
(Read More... | Score: 3)

Dogs and the Death Penalty
Animal Jokes Three dogs were sitting in the waiting room at the veterinarian's. One of the dogs was hanging its head and sighing.

The second dog turned to him and asked, "What are you in here for, buddy?"

The dog looked depressed. "I'm in big trouble," he said. "My owner has a really nice sports car with leather seats. I just love to go for rides in it. Well, the other day, he took me for a ride and I was so excited, I peed on the nice leather seat. Now he's having me put to sleep."
Posted by JokeCrazy on Sunday, March 02 @ 23:05:00 CST (1992 reads)
(Read More... | 1310 bytes more | Score: 4.5)

Big Game Hunter
Animal Jokes A hunter visited another hunter and was given a tour of his home. In the den was a stuffed lion. The visiting hunter asked,
"when did you bag him?"

The host said, "that was three years ago, when I went hunting with my wife."

"What's he stuffed with?" asked the visiting hunter.
Posted by JokeCrazy on Monday, May 12 @ 00:05:00 CDT (1492 reads)
(Read More... | 327 bytes more | Score: 0)

The Dog Bite
Animal Jokes One fall day Bill was out raking leaves when he noticed a hearse slowly drive by. Following the first hearse was a second hearse, which was followed by a man walking solemnly along, followed by a dog, and then about 200 men walking in single file.

Intrigued, Bill went up to the man following the second hearse and asked him who was in the first hearse. "My wife," the man replied.
Posted by JokeCrazy on Tuesday, October 08 @ 03:25:52 CDT (1799 reads)
(Read More... | 806 bytes more | Score: 5)

Choices over Bear Hunting
Animal Jokes Bill's all excited about his new rifle. So, he goes bear hunting in Alaska. The first bear he sees is a little brown bear, and he kills it with his first shot. There is a tap on his shoulder, and he turns around to see a big black bear.
Posted by JokeCrazy on Saturday, May 05 @ 02:13:42 CDT (1455 reads)
(Read More... | 1093 bytes more | Score: 4.5)

When the cat dies
Animal Jokes A man left his cat with his brother while he went on vacation for a week. When he came back, the man called his brother to see when he could pick the cat up. The brother hesitated, then said, ''I'm so sorry, but while you were away, the cat died."
Posted by JokeCrazy on Friday, July 06 @ 04:52:05 CDT (1471 reads)
(Read More... | 806 bytes more | Score: 3)

Mother Mouse
Animal Jokes A mother mouse was out for a stroll with her babies when she spotted a cat crouched behind a bush.

She watched the cat, and the cat watched the mice.

Mother mouse barked fiercely, "Woof, woof, woof!" The cat was so terrified that it ran for its life.
Posted by JokeCrazy on Saturday, June 07 @ 00:05:00 CDT (1570 reads)
(Read More... | 381 bytes more | Score: 2.66)

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Sunday, October 19
· Positively Negative
Friday, October 17
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Sunday, October 05
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Sunday, September 21
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